Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Cheer up buttercup

I don't know how to start this blog, only that it's hard to write how you feel at times for other people to read.
Dieting is hard. It's not for the timid, or the easily heartbroken.
When you find frustration, find the control to not verbalize it. It puts others in bad moods. When you find that dieting intrudes on your life, the only way to deal with it is to step away.
This is not an option for me. But intruding on someone else's life sometimes becomes a sudden realization. I don't want to diet, but this is the only option because my weight gain is affecting my way of life, my health, and my perception of my life.

I guess all I'm trying to say is that when you're dieting, and others find it hard to be around you, maybe it's best during those times to keep your mouth shut. Sometimes things that people say will make you want to quit entirely...but you must not stray from the path. Not for anything. Especially if you're near the weight I'm at. Don't let the feeling get to you. You may be tempted not to eat because of something someone says, you may be tempted to give up your new found way of life because of something someone says...but I guess what someone says are only words. And words may make feelings arise that you wish would just go away...but they only hurt if you let them.

I'll still be Food Journaling tonight. I'm just finding it very hard to even make dinner for myself right now...but don't worry...I'm still staying true to my decisions and myself.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Day 9, Week 2: A little change goes a long way.

I've got nothing much to say. I wanted to get up early today and set my alarm, but thanks to alarming dreams and being so anxious, I woke up so many times I had to sleep all day to gain it all back. My body is starting to feel exhausted all the time from this. But I want to go sculpt for CSC, so I'm just going to get on with my Food Journal for today. :)

Day 9, Week 2
29.03.11. Tuesday

Morning weigh-in: 217.2 lbs. (Holy CRAP I haven't weighed in this light in a year and a half!)

6:30 PM Dinner @ Chipotle
♥ a barbacoa fajita burrito bowl w/ sour cream & cheese (guesstimating 590 calories since they gave me more rice than usual)
♥ 2 8 fl. oz. cups of water (0 calories!)

Calorie subtotal: 590

9:00 PM Snack @ home
♥ 34 Mike & Ike's (210 calories)

This is what a serving of Mike & Ike's looks like. (23 Mike & Ike's = 1 serving, 1 serving = 140 calories)

♥ a Kashi TLC "Trail Mix" chewy granola bar (140 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 940

11:00 PM Snack @ home
♥ 27 CHEEZ-ITs (a serving, 150 calories)

This is what a serving of CHEEZ-ITs looks like. It's really filling and you can eat more than what you can calorie wise in potato chips! It's great for those trying to replace junk foods, and they even have reduced fat CHEEZ-ITs for those who want EVEN less calorie intake! (1 serving of CHEEZ-ITs = 27 CHEEZ-ITs, 27 CHEEZ-ITs = 150 calories!)

♥ a 8 fl. oz. glass of Mott's Apple Juice (120 calories)

Calorie total: 1,260
Bedtime weigh-in: 219.8 lbs. (with clothes)

NOTES: I stayed well beneath my calorie goal for today, but didn't get a chance to exercise because I woke up so late. Oh well! I'm still impressed with how great my results are coming along from just dropping soda!

I'm so shocked at the fact that after just a week, I weigh-in under 221 almost every time now. And I have to stress that I feel SO much better than I did when I wasn't monitoring my calorie intake and drinking 2 20 oz. sodas a day if not more. I also don't eat a lot of ground beef because of how many calories it can rack up, but I have noticed how wonderful I feel aside from the exhaustion from not sleeping right.

Sweet dreams~

Monday, March 28, 2011

Common dieting misconceptions

Joji (my boyfriend) and I have been having a discussion about dieting since I started and came up with a couple misconceptions and excuses people make about dieting.

Here they are:

1. I won't be able to enjoy food anymore, and I can't eat what I want.

For many this is the biggest misconception/excuse out of all of them. This is BULLSHIT/FALSE. You can eat whatever you like and drink whatever you want. As long as you don't eat a GALLON of Ben and Jerry's, you can still have a small portion/container of it. I hear this every time I try to help people who have major food addictions who are overweight. If you want to diet, you must give up the entire PINT of Ben & Jerry's and limit and control yourself to obtain your desired weight. I didn't GIVE UP sweets entirely, I just have to eat FAR less than I used to and I'm already losing the weight from over-indulging in the foods you like.

2. I'm too poor to afford health food/diet.

FALSE. Fresh fruits and vegetables do NOT cost a lot. Neither do the canned varieties. My meal today was 820 calories, and I used portion control to limit my calories...want to know how much it cost altogether? It averages out to about 5 dollars a person for that meal. And our meal served two people for about 10 dollars altogether. A walk around the block listening to the music on that MP3 player of your's cost you nothing but the price you paid long ago for said MP3 player.

3. If I diet, I'll be border-lining being a vegetarian, and I LOVE consuming meat.

FALSE. You do NOT have to eat fresh fruits or vegetables 99.9% of the time. Some people choose to eat all fresh things, and for some people that is not a choice. Especially if you can't eat separate meals due to eating altogether with a family. Also, if it is NOT your choice to be vegetarian/vegan, you don't have to be. Nobody is forcing you to, but know that eating a meat portion in every single meal in your day will up your calories and make it harder to lose your weight. Eat whatever you want, but portion control it if it makes you feel "safer" to be an omnivore.

4. I'll have to drink water all the time, and I hate water.

FALSE. This is almost the same as the one above, because drinking 0 calorie water instead of calorie consuming with every beverage is a better option for some. Drink juice, or drink low-calorie soda, but don't say that you HAVE TO. Nobody is making you drink ANYTHING you don't want to. Just know that water is healthier for you, your body needs it, and that whilst there ARE 0 calorie sodas out there, the stomach lining and tooth enamel is still susceptible to damage from acids in soda. (And this, aside from the heavy calories and sugar, is enough of a reason for me to quit drinking soda!

Just thought I'd share the information on what I find to be the more common excuses/misconceptions. Do you guys have anymore? Comment with them if you like! Hope you enjoyed!

Day 8, Week 2: You've made it through one week, you can make it through another.

"More die in the United States of too much food than of too little."
~John Kenneth Galbraith, The Affluent Society

I'm going to get straight to my Food Journal after saying just a few minor things.
1. I hate sleep aids that are supposed to help you sleep but instead keep you feeling drugged for 4 hours and make you sleep 12 hours straight.
2. I absolutely loathe not being able to function like a normal human being due to other people's sleep schedules.
3. Why is it that I have two binders and one is so loose and worn in that it doesn't flatten me anymore, and the other is so extremely tight that I can't breathe, feel like if I sneeze I will surely break a rib, and rips my skin off? (But flattens me so well I almost consider going through the terrifying pain. D:)

Alright then, onto my Food Journal:

Day 8, Week 2
28.03.11. Monday

Morning weigh-in: 218.0 lbs.

4:15 PM Breakfast/pick-me-up/snack
♥ 1/2 of a Kashi TLC "Trail Mix" chewy granola bar (70 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 70

6:00 PM Dinner @ home
♥ 8 fl. oz. of Coke (100 calories)
♥ 1/2 cup of Betty Crocker Cheesy Au Gratin potatoes (150 calories prepared)
♥ a small spoonful of Green Giant's Niblets canned corn (guesstimating 70 calories w/ Country Crock Cholesterol Free Spreadable Butter made w/ Canola Oil, since it was nowhere NEAR a serving of corn considering a serving is 1/2 cup and has 100 calories)
♥ guesstimating 6-7 oz. of cooked skinless, boneless chicken breast, cooked w/ water, steam, & 0 calorie "Bunkhouse" Chicken Rub or Seasoning (about 400-500 calories, guesstimating closer to 500 considering it was closer to 7 oz.)

My dinner tonight since I didn't post pictures yesterday! This is a child's plate so that's why everything looks crammed. It was made for a 5 year-old portion wise, and has little funny looking monsters on it. XD I guess I really love it because it's portion control helps me when eating at home. 1/2 cup potatoes, mashed or Au Gratin fit perfectly into the two little side dish divots.

Calorie subtotal: 890

8:00 PM DQ (The parental units ate there tonight since they want none of my healthier alternative food... :P)
♥ a small caramel sundae (300 Calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1,190

9:00 PM @ home
♥ 8 fl. oz. cup of Coke (100 calories)

Calorie total: 1,290
Bedtime weigh-in: 219.4 lbs.

NOTES: No more soda this way since I drink my two sodas for the week in one night. One w/ dinner as a treat to making it to week 2, and one while I was cleaning since I was super thirsty and it was readily available. I did not get one of my 3 30-minute exercise sessions in today, but I still have 6 days to do so. I got the majority of my calories in one meal which doesn't make me too happy, but I overslept and really missed any chance to do so. I did however manage to stay beneath my calorie intake goal for this week, and with 110 calories to spare!

So, I think after my final week toward cutting soda from my diet I will be cutting my sodium intake since that can make you bloated, and going light on calories usually leaves you with a high-sodium intake because you have to season everything to make it taste good after you abandon deep-fried foods. I'm going to make one more post tonight about dieting misconceptions, and then I'm going to work on sculpting for CSC!

Regardless, though I'm about to post another blog tonight, sweet dreams to all you reading!

Day 7: You've gotten through an entire week of calorie counting and you're still alive!

WOOHOO! I made it through an entire week of calorie counting and here's what I have to say about it: It is really easy to count your calories when you're out to eat in comparison to eating at home! Eating at home the first week whilst monitoring your calorie intake is an AWFUL idea as it will probably deter what little motivation towards weight loss you have at the very beginning of your journey. I recommend eating out to keep up with your calories instead.

So, onto some disappointing news: Whilst cleaning the other night, and having a few sips out of Joji's Southern Comfort and Coke, I accidentally hit the cup and spilled it ALL over my Food Journal. Luckily, I thought fast and separated the pages with paper from another notebook and didn't ruin my entire Food Journal, or my previous entries... However, it still depressed me so much I barely made the effort today to Food Journal, and I've got to stop letting myself get bummed out so easily...but I suppose all the effort put into Food Journaling and then spilling SoCo and Coke on the pages just kind of made me feel hopeless. ;_; My Food Journal is fine though, but I missed my morning weigh-in and didn't write my calories down from my breakfast/pick-me-up, and couldn't find the energy or effort after I ate dinner I was so depressed about it. Then, my sweet boyfriend encouraged me to keep going after I had a small monologue on how discouraged I was, and I realized how EASY it is, even with supportive friends, to let go of dieting even after a week, when your friends aren't nearby or part of your everyday life. I suppose I should thank God I have such a willing, patient, and encouraging boyfriend...but instead I'll just thank my lucky stars! ♥

Onto my Food Journal for the last day of my first week of calorie counting and kicking my bad soda drinking habit:

Day 7
27.03.11. Sunday

Morning weigh-in: (forgot it entirely)

5:00 PM Breakfast/pick-me-up/snack
♥ a Yoplait Light Strawberry Shortcake yogurt (110 calories)*
♥ 1 small/medium-sized banana (about 105 calories)

* This was NOT the best thing I've had yogurt-wise and I wouldn't recommend it for Strawberry shortcake just had more clumps of strawberries and tasted kinda funny. Plus it has 10 MORE calories than the other 100 calorie "Light" yogurt by Yoplait, and wasn't even worth THOSE.

Calorie subtotal: 215

7:00 PM Dinner @ home
♥ 8 fl. oz. of Mott's Apple Juice (120 calories)
♥ a couple spoonfuls of Green Giant's canned corn "Niblets" (guesstimating about 60 calories considering we added a tbsp. of Country Crock Cholesterol-Free spreadable butter but I had no where NEAR a serving of it)
♥ somewhere between a 2/3 cup or 1/2 cup of Idahoan "Four Cheese" Instant Mashed Potatoes (110 calories, prepared)
♥ guesstimating around 4 oz. of Nature's Basket boneless, skinless, 99% fat free, organic, all natural chicken tenderloin picked up at Walmart, cooked with steam, water, and 0 calorie seasoning (110 calories give or take)

Calorie subtotal: 615

11:00 PM Snack @ home
♥ 46 Tropical Typhoon Mike and Ike's Fat Free candy pieces (23 pieces = 140 calories, 46 = 280 calories)
♥ 8 fl. oz. Mott's Apple Juice (120 calories)

Calorie total: 1,015
Bedtime weigh-in: 221.0 lbs.

NOTES: I made it through a week of calorie counting! It was too late when we woke up to go to the nearby park to hike! But I have only had ONE ENTIRE SODA THIS ENTIRE WEEK! Still going to keep with my 3 week program to make sure I don't revert back to soda, but I must find a way to incorporate exercise! I stayed REALLY under my daily limit for calories.

I'm feeling really tired tonight, thanks to a Sleep Aid I picked up since I haven't been able to sleep so I can be awake during the day! I'm so ahead schedule with kicking soda but I really recommend that no matter what anyone tells you about the sugar in juice is to switch over to it whilst trying to kick your soda habit if you have had a really bad addiction like me. (I've been hooked to sodas for 3 entire years and it has gained me 40 lbs. along with my eating habits.) I'm already seeing a weight change from leaving it out of my diet though, and I think it's great considering most people say they do. For the next week I really want to try to eat more meals during the day, and smaller portions. I'm even going to start brushing my teeth early at night to help influence my decision of eating after that point since from my journal I can see that I snack A LOT. I want to eat lesser proportions and make sure that I'm eating yogurt, or fruit for snacks instead of sweets, but I think all the cravings for them come from cutting soda out of my diet. I don't mind eating those things right now, as I eat nowhere NEAR enough to make a difference since I'm monitoring my calorie intake, but I would rather eat sweets anyways instead of drinking a soda because of the tooth decay and stomach lining issues I have from drinking soda.

Goals for this week:
1. Stay AT LEAST under 1,400 calories instead of 1,500 per day.
2. Only allow myself 2 sodas this entire week, no more than that.
3. Eat more fruits and veggies for snacks when I am hungry instead of things that I feel are bad for me.
4. Try to exercise 30 minutes a day, at least 3 days this week.
5. Make a trip to the nearby park to hike on Sunday.

Sweet dreams! XOXO

EDIT: No pictures tonight since I was feeling so bummed during the day and forgot to take any! I really hope no one minds, but I'm doing so well I figure you guys won't. I also didn't review a low-calorie recipe today, but my dinner today was simple and low-calorie. I really recommend trying to eat something like that if you have to eat at home. My chicken was super moist without ANY oil whatsoever, and no added calories for seasoning! Those mashed potatoes were also low on calories and took no time to make. I really recommend things like that as well! <3

Saturday, March 26, 2011

One last post for tonight: Wednesday Weight Loss Inspiration Interviews!

I wanted to just drop a small line that if you know ANYONE out there who has undergone a huge weight loss, or even a small weight loss, but done it all on their own, please direct them to my e-mail if they would like to do an interview w/ before and after photos for my blog.

My e-mail is and I would be happy to hear from you!

My 1st Nail Polish Review: 535 "Wild Plum" COLOR FEVER by petites

I've been meaning to do my first nail polish review all week, so it's only fitting that I post it on Saturday, since on the weekend most people navigate to bars or clubs and when you work a job that doesn't allow you nail color, you tend to do your nails on Friday or Saturday nights. This is so far my very favorite shade of purple nail polish, seeing as it is not Fuchsia, and has no weird blue sheen to it as most purple nail polishes have. It is $3.99 and can be found at Rite Aid, though I got mine on sale for $1.00 which is a total steal, seeing as it only needs two coats to appear the color it is.

Without a top coat of clear it is not as shiny as it is in the bottle, so keep in mind that Wet N' Wild sells a cheap top coat that does incredibly well and serves it's purpose. In the photos I have a top coat over two coats of the color and it has lasted for a week! It's really awesome. Ignore my stubby nails, I recently had to cut them since they've grown out a lot in part due to the fact that I've stopped chewing on them and the skin around them.

I'm wondering, do you find this review helpful? Since it's my first, I was wondering, what can I do better?

Thank you for reading and I hope you find this helpful!

Day 6: Spoiling yourself on Saturdays!

In America, Saturday is the "day off" or so it seems. Even when you just go to school, it's the weekend and a break away from all of the "real world". So I've decided that Saturdays will be the one time I let myself have things that I normally don't. Whether that's a small ice cream I can't eat during the week, or a soda with one of my meals, I am choosing to let myself have something different from whatever it is that I'm going to be eating as a "diet" during the week. I fully endorse the idea of treating yourself once every week, because depleting these things from your diet entirely actually screws with your metabolism and because your metabolism is EXPECTING all your health food 24/7, so throwing it something different keeps it on it's toes. At least, that's what I've been told.

I feel like another thing I'd like to bring to attention is that I ATE what I WANTED but just not a HUGE AMOUNT. I wasn't gluttonous about it, but I still ate what I wanted, and guess what? I was still under the daily limit for calories! I still haven't gotten my sleeping schedule straight thanks to insomnia and everyone else's sleeping patterns in our household. But oh well, I assume it'll flip itself around during the week or something, but I am trying not to let it get me down that I haven't been able to exercise all week. Besides, this first week was really about monitoring what I eat, seeing when I eat, monitoring calories, learning to calorie count, seeing if I can stay beneath the daily limit for calories and if it leaves you hungry.

As a random side note, I'd like to say I'm INCREDIBLY cranky as of right now because I have to wear a binder a size smaller to compress my chest and it is SO UNCOMFORTABLE that I want to KILL everything for having a chest at the moment. So...don't mind me...being all cranky and such.

Onto the Food Journal for today:

Day 6
26.03.11. Saturday

Morning weigh-in: 218.6 lbs.

2:48 AM Snack during Harry Potter movies :)
♥ 2 1/2 pickles (0 calories)
♥ a row of peeps (140 calories)
♥ 24 fl. oz. glass of water (o calories!)

Calorie subtotal: 140

5:00 PM Snack/pick me up (just woke up)
♥ 1 Kashi TLC "Trail Mix" chewy granola bar (140 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 280

6:30 PM or so Dinner @ Chipotle
♥ a barbacoa fajita burrito bowl w/ sour cream & cheese (about 540 calories)
♥ 2 12 fl. oz. cups of water (0 calories!)

My dinner at Chipotle! It's so incredibly delicious and not over-processed, which makes for a happier tummy, if you ask me!

Calorie subtotal: 820

9:00 PM Ice cream @ Cold Stone's Creamery
♥ a "like it"-sized peanut butter ice cream w/ one Reese's cup (480 calories)

Calorie total: 1,380
Bedtime weigh-in: 219 lbs.

NOTES: Failed to exercise again thanks to my insomnia and a terrible sleeping schedule. But I stayed beneath my daily limit for calories even after spoiling myself! <3 I can count calories whilst out and about in my head!

So, I'm pretty excited as tomorrow is my official Day 7 and then the end of my first week of kicking soda! <3 And I've done so well so far! I'm hoping to go on my hike at the local park tomorrow if it's not too terribly cold, but if it is, oh well. At least I'm ahead of schedule for kicking sodas from my diet!

Sweet dreams!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Upcoming blog posts!

Just wanted to let you guys know that I will soon be posting a "Wednesday Weight Loss Inspiration Interview". I was lucky enough to snag an interview with the very person who inspired me to lose weight, but you won't be finding out until next Wednesday. (This won't be every Wednesday though, it'll probably be touch and go as I look for more people who have undergone extreme lengths to lose weight by themselves.) I will also be posting a nail polish review of a color that I have been wearing everyday lately later on today, and every Friday or Saturday from now on so you guys can find awesome nail polish colors, and not have to waste pennies on colors that aren't worth half of one! I'm sorry that my blog posts are all just Food Journals as of right now, but I thought that it might be interesting to do this for quite a while to keep myself on my toes. So keep reading if you're looking forward to any of that stuff! Stay tuned for some low calorie recipes that my boyfriend and I will be trying as well, specifically this coming Sunday.

Day 5: Starting to see changes in my appetite and WEIGHT!

Not much to say today, as I had a case of insomnia last night while blogging and stayed up until 7:30 AM or so...and then I finally passed out so my entire day disappeared. Oh well though I suppose, no use in dwelling on it, but I am trying to figure out what to do to flip my schedule around so I can at least stay awake during the day...I've been wanting to get out and walk around lately, but I haven't found myself really motivated. Though weighing less in the morning does make me want to get up, I'm trying to avoid putting on make-up, dressing up, etc. Mainly because I've started "Spring Cleaning" and it's really difficult to get it done thanks to my boyfriend's parent's sleeping schedules. His dad works at night, and his mom sleeps then...but his dad comes home in the early morning and sleeps during the day. In fact, there is only a period of time between 3:00 PM and 10:00 PM that I'm able to do any actual cleaning that makes noise. So I'm sorry if I seem rather frustrated, it has nothing to do with my Food Journaling, merely my life at the moment...

Onto my Food Journal for today:

A photo of my Food Journal for you to see! I'd show you the pages inside, but my handwriting and calorie counting is a total and complete mess until I figure out exactly how I want to lay out my days. Which I'm trying to figure out this week, obviously!

Day 5
25.03.11. Friday

Morning weigh-in: 218.6 lbs.

5:00 AM Snack @ home
♥ 1 small/medium-sized banana (about 105 calories)
♥ 1 Kashi TLC "Trail Mix" chewy granola bar (140 calories)
♥ 2 24 fl. oz. glasses of water (0 calories!)

Calorie subtotal: 245

6:30 AM Snack @ home (again. thanks insomnia!)
♥ 1 piece of Trident LAYERS Sugar Free Gum (same kind as last time)(less than 5 calories a piece/stick so I'll keep counting them as 4 calories)
♥ 21 Reese's Pieces (at 4 calories per piece, 84 calories for 21 Reese's Pieces)

Calorie subtotal: 329

4:00 PM Snack (After I woke up, kinda like snack/breakfast)
♥ tiny bowl of oatmeal w/ a tiny bit of brown sugar (about 150 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 479

7:00 PM Dinner @ home
♥ 3 slices of a medium cheese pizza w/o sauce from East of Chicago (guesstimating about about 230 calories a slice w/o sauce, so about 690 calories total)
♥ 8 or 12 fl. oz. glass of water (0 calories!)

Calorie subtotal: 1,149

9:00 PM Snack @ home
♥ small salad composed of 2 cups iceburg lettuce (15 calories!), a sprinkling of cheese (guesstimating 25 calories?), and 2 tbsp. of Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing (140 calories)(entire salad = 180)

Keep in mind that my plate is a much smaller plate! Regardless, this was one of my favorite things I've eaten all week for some reason! I highly suggest making your own salads at home and using the internet to research vegetables calories!

Calorie subtotal: 1,329

Calorie total: 1,329

Bedtime weigh-in: 218.4 lbs.

NOTES: Stayed underneath my daily limit for calories, discovered salad can be rather filling even with limited dressing and very few calories, failed to exercise again though. It's alright though because this week is more about monitoring my food intake, calorie intake, incorporating more water, vegetables, and fruit into my diet, and most importantly kicking my bad habit of over-indulging on soda! The most noteworthy of all is that I had stomach issues the week before this and I believe it is ALL because of soda! My diet is not the healthiest, yet cutting back on my soda I don't have gas pains, problems with digesting food, and weird stomach noises all the time! I used to feel bloated and disgusting like 99.9% of the time, and just cutting back on my soda intake has left me rid of that entirely! Last note that I want to add in for those of us who REALLY enjoy food but are finding it hard to cut back, but love pickles, go buy a jar. They are 0 calorie, and though they have 210mg of sodium, it really won't hurt to eat one when you feel munchy! Just found out myself and got a jar at the nearby grocery store.

One last thing, when you are WEIGHING yourself, make sure to stand up straight and not hunching your neck down waiting on the number to pop up (if you have a digital scale) or (if you have a regular scale) crooning to watch the number go up. You need to stand straight ahead. Get someone else to monitor your scale...I look down after counting for mine now that I've gotten used to weighing myself so often. I leaned down to watch and ended up weighing 222.2 lbs. but when I stayed standing straight I weighed 218.4 lbs, and tried it a few more times getting the same results. So, make sure you aren't getting the wrong weight!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Day 4: Calorie counting at home and what to do when you go over calorie count on your very first week!

So, day 4 started on a good note, and ended on a bad one. I used some of my own advice I'd been meaning to use by eating heavier during the morning, and finishing the day with the least amount of calorie intake possible without going to bed hungry, but I ended up having an unfortunate snag in my plan! I went over my calorie limit (though I haven't really set one, just making sure to remain underneath 1,500) by quite a bit. Now, even MORE unfortunately, I know the reasoning behind it: I woke up at about 10:30 AM, had finally sat down to eat breakfast at 12:00 PM, and then I fell back asleep because I had nothing to do other than sleep. Especially since my boyfriend had a horrible migraine and felt wretched. Though I had planned to take a morning walk to the post, and then a 30-minute walk for my exercise for today, all plans were canceled until my boyfriend felt better. So, I went over my calorie intake today, slept in after (eating which is a MAJOR "no-no" in my book), and failed to exercise at ALL today. (Though I did do some "Spring Cleaning" which could've burned some calories, for about an hour, though I'm not certain how many.) The one OTHER reasoning behind my calorie limit BUST was due to something that I will now correct from NOW on: I ate my 3rd meal at the end of the day, and neglected to count the calories in the store, thinking that a large chicken breast steamed couldn't have THAT many calories, and then finding out that it REALLY does, which completely messed up my calorie count. And even still- you should count your calories before eating that last meal. Chances are you could ruin your total for the day. Also, remember that you shouldn't nap for long hours in between your meals, as the calories you consumed will burn off and leave you feeling STARVED when you wake, as I learned today. I literally felt as though I had eaten NOTHING at all.

Onto my Food Journal for today:

Day 4
24.03.11. Thursday

Morning weigh-in: 218.4 lbs. (Notice how you burn weight as you sleep! I weighed less than what I weighed the night before! A good 8 hours does wonders for the body!)

12:00 PM Late breakfast at home
♥ 1 medium egg, scrambled w/ a dash of salt & pepper, milk, & a tsp. of Country Crock Cholesterol Free (about 120 calories)
♥ 1 small/medium-sized banana (105 calories)
♥ 1 Yoplait Original Strawberry Yogurt (6 oz. or 170g = 170 calories, a lot more than the Yoplait Light Strawberry Yogurt)
♥ 1 Kashi TLC chewy "Trail Mix" granola bar (140 calories)
♥ 6 oz. glass of Vitamin D or whole milk (about 114 calories, about 150 calories per 8 oz.)

4:30 PM Dinner @ home
♥ a medium sized salad of iceberg lettuce (about 27 calories) w/ sliced carrot (about 10 calories worth), a couple slices of cucumber (at 2-3 calories a slice, about 12 calories for my serving), a couple slices of green bell pepper (no more than 12 calories worth, 20 calories per green bell pepper), a couple cherry tomatoes (about 27 calories and I would say I had about a cup), and a packet of Marzetti's buttermilk ranch dressing (about 200 calories). (Salad w/o dressing = about 80 calories, salad w/ dressing = about 280 calories)
♥ 3/4 of a large hard-boiled egg (about 28 calories)
♥ 1 large chicken breast w/ skin on, steamed and seasoned w/ 0 calorie seasoning (about 330 calories for 6 oz. or 170g, cooked)

Top photo: Front of the container of zero calorie "rub" or seasoning that my boyfriend and I picked up at our local IGA for I think a dollar!. Bottom photo: the back of the container of "rub" or seasoning so that you can see it has sodium content, which can be bad, but as long as you use it sparingly, and regardless to using it sparingly, it has ZERO calories!

♥ 1 20 fl. oz. (1.25 PT, 591 mL) Mountain Dew (290 calories)

6:00 PM Starbucks
♥ a tall (12 fl. oz.) Caramel Frappucino Light Blended Coffee (90 calories)

11:00 PM @ home
♥ 10 oz. glass of water (0 calories!)

(And because I couldn't add it in BEFORE my weigh-in since I write it down the night before...and it TECHNICALLY counts for the next day)
1:00 AM @ home watching a movie w/ the boyfriend
♥ 5 pieces of Trident LAYERS Sugar Free Green Apple and Pineapple gum (<5 calories per stick/piece, so I will round up and say 4 calories x 5 pieces = about 20 calories, which keeps me from wasting hundreds of calories on movie snacks like popcorn! 80 considerable calories less than a bag of SMARTPOP! even...)

A photo of the gum, although I do not have the nutritional information because unfortunately it isn't printed onto the package! It does show that it is "SUGAR FREE" though. A GREAT alternative to snacking at less than 5 calories a stick/piece.

NOTES: Went over my MAXIMUM calorie intake, failed to exercise, napped during the day, and failed to attempt eating 3 meals. Starting to see small weight changes! Weigh in was 2.8 lbs. different from initial weigh-in which is motivating me to try harder and to throw in some exercise to really start shedding some pounds! Try to at least stay 100 calories BELOW my MAXIMUM calorie intake of 1,500 calories!

Total calories: 1,687 calories (187 calories over my MAXIMUM calorie intake limit set at 1,500 calories)
Bedtime weigh-in: 220.2 lbs.

A picture to prove it! A pound lighter before bed even with going a hundred and something calories over my daily limit! (And don't comment on my hideous feet or I'll kill you! Ha- not really.)

So, to summarize today, though I went over my calorie intake maximum, I have made sure to watch what I eat when I'm at home. Make sure that you count up those calories so you can know how many you have left available to your dispense. I failed to count before I went to Starbucks and had ALREADY went over, and if I had just added the calories up for a small summary of my day I would have known that and not failed to add MORE to that. Another small thing I'd like to address is that whilst there are ways to cut down on your calories they are not always the tastiest! But you have to TRY THEM to find out, and that's why it's a sort of adventure...because the best are out there waiting to be found by your taste buds. Unfortunately, I would not recommend the tall Caramel Frappucino Light Blended Coffee as it was rather disappointing, unless you REALLY want your Starbucks and can't afford the calories. The woman at the counter also said that the higher calorie drinks can be cut back calorie wise by using their sugar free syrups! Which I will also be trying out to try and figure out tasty, yet calorie conscious, treats at Starbucks. The last thing is to cut down on snacking at movies or while watching TV, I HIGHLY recommend this Trident gum. It's low calorie, sugar free, and makes your breath smell awesome. It's especially for those of us who were used to eating candy at theaters, or popcorn. It keeps the mouth busy, but is so low on calorie that you can chew several pieces without worrying over your diet!

And as a very final note to this post, don't get the blues if you go over calorie on one of the days during your first week! Keep trying! Yeah, it sure does suck to make a fatal error in your diet, but be EASY on yourself. After all, it's only your first week! Most learning comes from trial and error don't go quitting your entire diet over going a hundred calories over. And you've almost gotten through your very first week!

(All vegetable calorie information, aside from cherry tomatoes, was obtained from: Here at!)

Sweet dreams and goodnight! ♥


Whether you're looking to lose nearly 100 lbs. or just a couple, some of these things could really help you, and I figured since I know I've just been blogging my Food Journal posts and not really providing outright tips that this is going to be a mini-tip blog post.

Stop drinking soda, and alcohol.
Whether you quit gradually, or just reduce your intake of both parties. You'll notice you will stop gaining pounds. It's loaded with sugar and calories.

Keep a food diary or journal.
Nothing like reading exactly how many calories you consumed or how many of those Little Debbie cakes you had at the end of the day after a stressful day of work. Writing down every single thing you put in your mouth makes you much more conscious of what you put in your mouth, how much, and when you eat. It also is great for figuring out your food habits and wonderful when you're in a snacking mood.

Weigh yourself often.
Getting to know how your metabolism works and how your body collects weight puts it into perspective and keeps you from going back for seconds and thirds. It also reinforces weight loss, and keeps you goal-oriented.

Put down the remote.
Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't ever give yourself some leisure time, but have you ever noticed how mindless you become sitting in front of a TV? You're less likely to get back up once you sit down, if you're snacking you'll overeat, and to top it off, once you start following a series, you're less likely to go workout while trying to find out who Tim is seeing behind Jessica's back! It's dangerous stuff. The best option is to watch less TV, or do it while at the gym as most cater towards that now. (Even the YMCA!) Better yet if you work out at home, move an elliptical in front of that TV, and enjoy! Just don't get off of it!

Cut calories.
Consume fewer calories and be calorie conscious and you'll start losing weight. I have cut my calorie-intake from Monday to Thursday and I have gone from 221 to 218. And I haven't even exercised yet! Think of how many calories will come off then! You can cut calories when you go out to eat by simply eating less! Split it in half, and take it home to heat up for lunch the next day.

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a beggar.
Eat a heavier breakfast so that you'll be less likely eat more at dinner time. This method also makes you snack less! I can go in between meals without really feeling hungry and even though I'm dieting, I NEVER go to sleep hungry! And even if you're dieting, you should NEVER be hungry by the time you hit the sack!

I hope you liked my tips!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Day 3: Calculating calories with partial servings!

Today was kind of awful. I went through a bout when I woke up of being completely unmotivated to continue with my diet. There was some arguing going on at my house so I wasn't in the best of moods, but I decided that nothing was going to make me quit my diet, even a bad mood. And unfortunately, especially when you change your diet entirely, you're going to have to go through these, and there really isn't much of a way around it other than willpower. Anyhow! I'm really disappointed with myself because thanks to REALLY bad weather, (there was a Tornado Watch in our area, and then it started storming and then there was a "Severe Thunderstorm" warning with hail advisory!), so I didn't get to take pictures today, or exercise! Bummer! But it's alright, I'll get it started tomorrow, because there was nothing I could do about people's bad moods and definitely nothing I could do about weather! Onto my Food Journal post for today!

Day 3
23.03.11. Wednesday

Morning weigh-in: (done at 1:30 PM) 219.2 lbs.

4:45 PM Chipotle

♥ barbacoa fajita burrito bowl w/ cheese and sour cream (about 540 calories)
♥ 3 12 oz. cups of water (0 calories!)

7:00 PM

♥ 10 Reese's Pieces (51 pieces = 190 calories, so about 40 calories)*

9:40 PM Snack

♥ 1/4 an average sized cantaloupe (about 64 calories)
♥ 1 yoplait greek fruit-on-the-bottom strawberry yogurt w/ granola (180 calories)
♥ 1 TLC chewy granola bar (140 calories)

NOTES: Incorporated more water just like I said I would! Finding myself less thirsty since I quit drinking sodas which is awfully ironic to me considering a lot of them brag about being "Thirst Quenchers!" Failed to exercise due to weather. Finding myself putting more effort into my diet day by day.

Total calories: 984 calories
Bedtime weigh-in: 221.6 lbs.

* So I know you're probably wondering why I asterisked something in my entry, but I suddenly realized that I was never taught how to know how many calories you're eating when you only eat part of a serving... It's fairly easy once you get the hang of it, so now I'll explain!

1 serving of Reese's Pieces = 51 pieces
51 pieces/1 serving = 190 calories
I consumed 10 Reese's Pieces.
So first you want to divide 190 by 51 to calculate how many calories 1 piece has. You will obtain a long number that can be rounded up from 3.7 to 4. So each Reese's Piece has about 4 calories. Then you multiply the amount you ate (10 Reese's Pieces) by the amount of calories they have a piece (about 4 calories).
10 x 4 = about 40 calories, because you rounded up.

And it's really that simple! Now, some of you might be saying, "Well that's too much to do when I'm out to eat!" No, it really isn't. The truth is most cell phones these days come equipped with a calculator and even though you've been eating that entire burrito for the past month, you know what 1/2 of it looks like, and if you REALLY want to lose that weight, you'll control yourself! And if you don't have a cell phone to calculate it, check it through the internet before you go out and use the calculator in your "Accessories" tab. And if you don't have both and you're reading this from a library? Well the truth is, a calculator costs a dollar and it is worth it. It's going to add a couple years on your life, and after all, isn't your life worth that one measly dollar? Or the "embarrassment" of pulling out a calculator?

On that note, sweet dreams!

Elizabeth Taylor

I woke up this afternoon to hear the sad news that Elizabeth Taylor had died.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a HUGE fan of her, or her work. I wasn't some great follower who had everything that was ever made with her involved...
She was 79, and as of right now the known cause was congestive heart failure. She died in the hospital, with her children by her bed. Though, as those of us know who live in America, it won't be long before the media milks it for all it's worth coming up with some terrible story and hurting all the people she loved who were in her life.
I don't know much about Elizabeth Taylor, and I never idolized her growing up.
However, I will say this:
Elizabeth Taylor will be deeply missed, as being one of the very last true "old" Hollywood Stars, and although most of us tend to remember the everlasting impression her many marriages left, her presence was undeniable. She was a role model for celebrities, voicing her ACTUAL support of Michael Jackson when he was accused of molestation, because she called him 'friend'. Drag queens would kill to have her looks, and for a very good reason: she was iconic to America and more than average pretty, she was beautiful.

However you may see her, you can't deny how beautiful she was.
Rest in peace, Elizabeth Taylor.

And don't worry, I'll still be posting today. I just wanted to make this a separate post!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Day 2: Noting changes that you want to make in your diet, and applying them the following day!

"Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork." ~English Proverb

As you saw from yesterday, I made a LOT of errors. I also woke up late and didn't get the best start on my first day of dieting, but I still didn't want to wait to get a start on it. Today I woke up MUCH later, and I still tried to be as successful as possible in my endeavor. Remember to keep your mind neutral, and not to view things purely optimistically or pessimistically. And now, for a view of my second food journal entry!

22.03.11. Tuesday
Day 2

Morning weigh in: (missed thanks to waking up late and not even having time to weigh myself because we had to go pick-up car parts and get dinner while we were out because we had friends coming over)

6:00 PM Chipotle (I wasted the time I could've spent weighing myself on looking up the nutrition information on the internet before we left! Remember if a place doesn't have their nutrition information posted or available at a counter, you can always look it up pretty fast via the internet and a lot of places like Chipotle have a calculator to know EXACTLY how many calories you're eating.)

♥ a barbacoa (a spicy seasoned pulled beef) fajita burrito bowl w/ cilantro lime rice, green peppers, onions, sour cream, and cheese (540 calories) (only five more calories than my Subway lunch yesterday and that was NOT including my sweetened green tea!)

♥ a 12 oz cup of water (0 CALORIES! And I'm trying to slowly introduce water into my diet!)

(Another thing I'd like you to note is that by getting a BURRITO BOWL instead of a BURRITO w/ a 13" tortilla you cut down 670 mg of sodium and a whopping 290 CALORIES! Check if you don't believe me! Isn't that astounding? Paying attention to what you eat whether you dine in or out is extremely important...and I've found that most teenagers and adults don't look at the nutritional facts on anything. I wasn't even brought up to read them! But now I'm trying to practice what I should've known to do all along!)

7:00 PM Starbucks

♥ a grande white chocolate or just white mocha frappucino light (w/o whipped cream) (300 calories, but this is probably less because once again's system for calculating calorie intake by drink doesn't work correctly and they don't even HAVE the choice for a LIGHT white chocolate or white mocha to see your ACTUAL calorie information!)

11:30 PM Snack at home

♥ 1 medium sized apple sliced (about 80 calories) w/ about 4 tsp. or 2 tbsp. of peanut butter (about 47 calories per tsp.; about 95 calories per tbsp. equaling out at about 190 calories, for a complete total of 270 calories)

♥ 1 yoplait light fat free strawberry yogurt (6 oz. or 170 g = 100 calories)

Notes: Success on learning calorie counting at home! You can find fruit calorie values pretty easily on the internet these days! Incorporated a cup of water with ONE of my meals successfully as I try to add into my daily ritual. Did not exercise today but I will try to incorporate it into my week starting tomorrow! Cut my calorie intake down significantly today! Try to incorporate more fruit and vegetables and to eat a bigger breakfast as well as get up earlier to acquire 3 meals a day instead of packing my calories into dinner! Try to eat heavier in the morning than in the evening!

Calorie total: 1210
Bedtime weigh-in: 221.8 lbs. (including my clothes!)

Tips for you today!
Be sure to not give up even if you aren't losing weight during the very beginning. Installing healthy habits takes a ton of dedication and persistence! If you see something during your first week of analysis that you don't like, then CHANGE IT! You must be willing and ready to tackle down the biggest obstacle during your weight loss: Being frozen by the fear to fail! I found myself disappointed by my first Food Journal entry, but I knew the only way to cure my disappointment is to change what I see so that I won't disappoint myself any longer. I highly recommend making a "Note" section to note things that you see logged in your food journal that you want to change. It reinforces it and is great to look at the next day as a small reminder of what you set out to accomplish goal wise the following day!

And as a small side note: I just want to let whoever IS really reading this that tomorrow I am going to start on taking photos so that my posts aren't boring anymore! I'm sure you guys would actually like to see a picture of my current weight and what my Food Journal actually looks like so that you can see that I am actually telling the truth!


Mori Mori's Pink vs. Purple GIVEAWAY


This gorgeous girl is doing a wonderful GIVEAWAY for those of you interested in participating, she has 10 prizes to giveaway! So go ahead and click the link above! The deadline is 4/4/2011, so be sure to click now and enter if you're interested in anything you see! <3

It's nice to see someone doing something nice when there is so much negativity currently going on in the world!

Day 1: A late start, purchasing a food journal, and outlining your success story!

For your first day you should go and make the purchase of your very first food journal! Mine is a composition book that only cost me a dollar so that I don't become overly attached to it, and so that I don't have some teeny, tiny book that I can't fit daily notes, tips, etc. Whether you're looking to change your life entirely by losing 50 lbs. or you're looking to make dietary changes and lose just 15 lbs., you should still invest the dollar into a food journal, (or diary for my female followers), because it's definitely worth it in my opinion and several people suggest it. So I left the house today with my first goal in mind, find a "Food Journal" that's gonna make me stick with it, and to log my very first day! Here's what I wrote for my very first page! (You'll want to outline what you intend on doing and how, and make sure that what I do is not exactly how you're going to lose weight- you have to do what works for you!)

First weigh in: 221.2 lbs.
Weight goal: 145 lbs.

My first goal for the first 3 weeks is to eliminate soda from my life. An occasional soda doesn't hurt, but it's important for me to remember that it is high in sugar and soda also causes tooth decay. (Because let's face it- nobody really brushes their teeth RIGHT after they drink a soda.) I drink soda far too often and in quick succession, especially when eating out but even sometimes when we eat at home. I will break my addiction to soda by reducing my intake to by allowing myself 3 sodas maximum the first week, 2 sodas maximum the following week, and 1 soda maximum the last week. This is the 3 week plan I will be using to eliminate unhealthy eating habits throughout the next 12 weeks. I will first eliminate sodas, then junk food (i.e. chips, pizza rolls, pierogies, french fries, etc.), then sweets, and finally eating out.

As far as exercising goes, I will start this week with 30 minutes of walking, 3 times a week, not including walking to the post office, or the weekly hike I will take at the end of each week at a nearby park.

I will keep track of my diet and exercising with this book by writing down what I eat and when I exercise.

(This is not written in my food journal- I recommend outlining your plan of action BEFORE you write down your food intake for your very first day. That way every time you open your food journal or diary, you see it. Hopefully it will motivate you to stay with your program! I also think that you need to write down your first day weigh in at the top of the page, alongside your goal weight! This is also pretty important to remain focused!)

I had a late start today because I stayed up late watching movies with Joji, and ended up waking up at around 3 PM. We decided to grab a late lunch at SUBWAY since we wanted to go visit the cemetery and have a small, spur of the moment, rather rushed picnic. (We had to go run errands after that. -_-;)

♥ a 6-inch veggie sub on 9-grain wheat bread w/lettuce, tomato, cucumber, green peppers, pickles, onions, two pieces of American cheese, 2 tsp. light mayo, and salt & pepper w/ a 32 oz. sweetened green tea that Joji and I split (535 calories)

We had to go to McDonald's since we were tagging along with Joji's parentals and they wanted dinner at Mickey D's. I resisted the temptation even though it had been 2 hours since I first ate, Joji and I both got a really cheap snack that we ate while reading and waiting for the parents to finish eating.

♥ a Fruit N' Yogurt Parfait (160 calories, I'm not sure if that includes the small pack of cinammon granola that comes with it or not since McDonald's nutritional information doesn't seem to list it...)

Stopped at the Starbucks whilst shopping for my food journal at Target.
(Went a little weak in my knees I have to admit...oh well.)

♥ a venti White Chocolate Mocha Frappucino w/ nonfat milk & whipped cream (I can't find the ACTUAL value through Starbucks thanks to their website being faulty as fuck, so all I can get is the nutritional value for the same coffee I ordered with WHOLE MILK so since I can't get it I'll just say 550 calories event though that isn't correct)

Finally had dinner around 8 PM.

♥ a medium sized chicken breast cooked with mirin, sake, onions, and mushrooms w/ a serving of corn and a serving of rice
♥ a glass of apple juice

(I don't know the calorie count for dinner due to me just not knowing how to count calories when I make my own food, but I suppose I'll learn that through this whole experience.)

NOTES: Make sure to weigh yourself in the morning, and at the very end of your day. Didn't drink any sodas today, hoping to incorporate more water into my diet. Try to figure out how to count calories when you make dinner at home! Also did not exercise today!

Total calorie intake(not including dinner): 1245

The synopsis for my first day is that I have to learn how to count calories at home! Calories have stayed the same through all the fad diets, though meat eating and other things are still disputed, the basics stay the same: If you burn more calories then you intake, then you will lose weight. If you burn the same amount of calories you intake, you will stay the same weight and will maintain. If you burn less calories than you intake, you will gain weight.
I also have learned that I need to watch my calorie intake at Starbucks! I love their coffee, but even trying it with nonfat milk makes no noticeable change in the taste of the coffee and cuts calories. I found myself shocked at nutritional values as well! The calories really add up with that whipped cream at Starbucks and it's not even worth it! It doesn't even taste that good in my opinion! (It's waxy IMO.) And look at my calorie total for today! I can't imagine how many calories dinner was and how many calories I actually had, or how many calories that would have been had I drank sodas all day! I also didn't even eat breakfast! Don't call it quits if you went over your calorie count for the first day. You have to remember that this is a learning experience and you are going to learn a lot about yourself and the changes and sacrifices you are going to have to make to actually succeed.

I hope you find this first post helpful!

As a side note, when you are bigger your clothes can weigh 1-2 lbs. Weigh yourself naked to make sure that you are getting your ACTUAL weight! (I actually tested it out by weighing myself twice and my clothes for a size 18 with just my jeans, binder, and t-shirt w/o shoes I weigh 223.2, I checked this twice to make sure, and w/o clothes I weigh exactly 2 lbs. less! :O Make sure to never weigh yourself with shoes on as well! And if you're feeling too lazy, just test out your scale and every time you weigh yourself you can just subtract the weight of your clothes.)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

A New Beginning Blooms

Well, at least one can hope, correct? On Monday I will begin down a long, hard road towards weight loss success! And to guiding you down the very same as well! I will start with a weigh in on Monday and then I will start on my own weird little plan I've come up with to succeed. So, before all that, terrifyingly tragic fun we will be getting onto, I'm going to introduce myself! So here goes!

My name is Illiad Ambrose Biernot. I am 20 years old. There's nothing really special about me to talk about. I am 5'2 or 3 and I weigh...a lot. (I know that I am by technical standards overweight.) My self-esteem is terrible. I was born August 14, 1990 and am accordingly a Leo. I was also born genetically female, but I am an FTM. I love piercings, and tattoos, and I think it's safe to say that my mother was probably wrong when she said "It's just a phase." I plan on getting a couple of surgery modifications, but I guess I just view it as a part of the process of becoming "myself". My favorite color is purple. I have a boyfriend. I love video games, and movies, but video games FAR MORE. I enjoy thrifting way too much. I live in the middle of NOWHERE. Literally. I can walk five minutes from where I am and see corn fields for miles. I have depression amongst several other issues. I'm currently addicted to nail polish. This is my first blog.

Things I will be writing on/about: dieting, exercising, weight loss, weight, nutrition, major weight loss, thrifting for chubby girls and boys, thrifting for people that are losing weight, thrifting for the poor, thrifting in NE OH or North East Ohio, thrifting locations, Salvation Army, Goodwill, make-up, drug store make-up, make-up reviews, NYC, Wet N' Wild, skin care, nail polish, nail polish reviews, hair color/style for alternative kids, dread installation, dreads, style, alternative style/clothing, alternative style for chubby people who are/are not seeking to lose weight, piercing, piercing care, tattoos, tattoo care, body modification, body modification care, piercing/tattoo/body modification in North East Ohio, FTM lifestyle, chubby FTMs lifestyle, fashion for FTMs, sexuality, open relationships, gender, gender and it's relationship with style, food, restaurants, restaurant reviews in North East Ohio, general restaurant reviews, food reviews, recipes, recipe reviews, bento, travel, music, concert-going, video gaming, video game reviews, books, book reviews, and many other things in between.

I know fashion and am accordingly, fabulous. Take this as a warning for I post a lot of things that are fierce.

I hope you enjoy my blog and all I have to tell you.

And to all the wallflowers, may you prosper and bloom from the words I write. Here we go...