Missing Person's Case? (News & Updates blog post!)

Well, not really. It's nice to be back to my blog. And I'm really sorry there was no explanation as to why I disappeared! Everything took a turn for the worst and I just had a breakdown about everything. My puppy was a ton of unexpected responsibility, but that wasn't what was so bad: I literally was stuck in my room every single day and still sort of am due to her anxiety. I can't leave her alone or she freaks herself out, and we keep trying to just to get her used to it but she has some of the worst separation anxiety cases I've ever seen. She can't handle separation, and worse yet: She can't handle being in cars. She gets car sick to the point of salivating everywhere and throwing up if she eats ANYTHING whatsoever. She'll also use the restroom if she gets too terrified and until we can afford a travel kennel we can't go anything with her in the car. She also tries to escape from the car if you open the door and will severely scratch you if you're sitting next to her, trying to claw her way out quite literally! :O Which is egads! painful~ So this also made life really difficult because my boyfriend was getting rather tired of having to go out alone every time he needed to go somewhere, he just missed me when he was out having to take care of him, plus he had to remember everything we needed while he was out because I couldn't get a hold of him to remind him. And it's hard to pick what you want to eat when you're trying to hurry and at the same time you can't be there to choose what you want when selection varies.
To add to this equation, I then had his 'rents breathing down my throat to clean the house and they have been really shitty towards us both as of lately. I'm not really sure why, but they have both been really cold and cruel as of lately. So every single day it was something else they wanted to bring up or argue about. All of this just led to me thinking somewhere along the lines of: I don't care what I'm eating as long as I'm eating. Plus, I didn't have the time to Food Journal thanks to housebreaking Oogie. I have to go outside all the time to walk her so there's little to no time for anything.
What's surprising about all of this? I somehow managed to not gain back that much weight. Only 5 pounds if that.
So I'm back for good. The reason why? I'm jeopardizing my health and my gender, and that doesn't work for me. So whether I like it or not, I have to do this. So even though I've been gone for 6 weeks, I don't really care because I felt like I was going insane right before I quit, and now I feel like I can think clearly again. If you hold that against me, I really don't give a shit and you can go on your way.
Either way, I'm back and I'll be blogging every day again, and perhaps even adding in new types of posts here and there.

♥ Eerie

P.S. I hope there are still people reading after all this! If you are, internet cookies for you!

Day 33, Week 5: Good Friday?! How about "Fat Friday"? 8D

XD
*damn boyfriend making me feel insecure about the placement of two emoticons one after the other* >D
HAHA! Today was TERRIBLE weather, and even though most of the US recognizes this as "Good Friday", it was also "Earth Day". Dumbasses. >_>;
Anyways, I had planned on going outside and spending the day outside the entire day and not using any electronics, but thanks to Mother Earth it was rainy and storming ALL day, so I couldn't go out. I really wanted to go to Starbucks too because they were doing free coffee for people who brought their own cups or asked for a paper cup! Oh well though, so long tasty free coffee! ;_;
Again, I have no pictures as the puppy is keeping me busy! But her crate did get here today! We didn't know it, but it was actually from PetCo! :O That makes me pretty happy too because I hate Petsmart and I refuse to support them in any way shape or form. I would've hated to find out that I purchased from them. >/ I would've sent it back for a refund. We just ordered her crate on Sunday or Monday too. I will probably post pictures of her and her toys and her new crate. She had her first time in her crate and is gradually getting more comfortable with it! :) OH! And I almost forgot, but she had ABSOLUTELY NO ACCIDENTS IN THE HOUSE TODAY! I'm so proud of her because she is getting better and better and seems to be doing better from when we first met her. The only problem at the moment is that she doesn't seem to understand the word "no" and she has a REALLY bad nipping problem. She didn't nip us when we first got her or when I had to force her into the car by picking her up, but now she has gotten really bad about randomly biting our faces, noses, jawlines, ears, hands, legs, wrists, and our clothes. ; 3 ; It can be really painful or itchy when she does it too, but it isn't aggressive. She just has teeth coming in still, (I think about four), and she hasn't quite figured out that she can't chew on us. She chews on her toys, and her bone, but won't touch the rubber chew toy we bought. However she has a SEVERE problem chewing on my clothes. Not when they aren't on me, but when they ARE on me. My sweaters and jeans in particular and sometimes she gets me through the clothes! >O Not cool. Oh well.

Good god I just babbled forever! Onto my Food Journal for today since I'm so talkative:

Day 33, Week 5
22.04.11. Friday

2:00 AM Snack @ home
♥ a pack of 2 "Wild Berry" pop-tarts (420 calories)

Morning weigh-in: 211.6 lbs.

4:00 PM Lunch @ home
♥ a Lean Cuisine Steamer (frozen meal in a bag) Garlic Chicken w/ pasta and vegetables in alfredo/parmesan sauce (270 calories)
♥ a 13.5 fl. oz. bottle of "Simply Lemonade w/ Raspberry" (180 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 870

9:00 PM Dinner @ home
♥ a Lean Cuisine frozen meal "Cheesy Rigatoni" (350 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1,220

9:30 PM
♥ 1/2 a bottle of Starbucks Frappucino "Mocha" low-fat drink (170 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1,390

10:00 PM Snack @ home
♥ 1 Otis Spunkmeyer Chocolate Chip Muffin (individually packaged)(460 calories)

Calorie total: 1,850
Bedtime weigh-in: 213.0 lbs.

NOTES: I forgot to add my calories together BEFORE I ate, rather than after which is where I went astray. >_<; Trying to quit eating junk food is ridiculously hard. :< I forgot to add that I ate another junk food the other night when I ate that bag of Doritos even though they were the "Baked!" kind, they still count as a junk food to me. Remember to count your calories to see what your total will be BEFORE you eat something! I even forgot to look at the calories on the back of the package because I had a stupid moment. I really, really need to quit eating so much but I guess I'm so distracted since I'm taking Oogie out every 2 hours from the time we wake up until the time we go to bed! It's really distracting when you are walking around that often because the time walking her around is anywhere from 15 minutes to 45 depending on how she is acting. So I'm really out of it calorie-counting and exercising. I guess I should focus more on trying not to eat junk food rather than calorie counting or exercising for now since I'm too god damn busy right now. >_<;

I'm sorry for no pictures again! When you start messing with something, Oogie immediately pays attention to you, so it's difficult to do anything with my hands right now without catching her attention and then feeling her wrath when she tries to chew on whatever is in my hand! No digital camera for you, Oogie!
I will try to get back to taking pictures of what I eat, but it's been very grab and go with my food lately because of how busy my puppy keeps me!
Sweet dreams, bloggers!

Day 32, Week 5: Thursday, Thursday, Thursday...

Thursday's are never really interesting around here.
Really though! There isn't anything to do and my puppy's crate wasn't here yet so there really wasn't anything to do, and nothing we could do since my puppy has such bad separation anxiety that we had began sending one of us to run errands and the other has to watch puppy and keep her company. Poor baby. I'm not sure what we're going to do with her. :(
The only thing really special was that today was Robert Smith's birthday! (He turned 52 today.) I love The Cure and I'm pretty thankful Mr. Smith was born or else there would be no "disintegration", and I love that album! Happy Birthday Robert Smith! My boyfriend is a HUGE Cure fan. And I mean HUGE. His love for them introduced me to them back in 2007/2008, and I didn't really enjoy them until 2009. But man do I really love them. It's all thanks to the boyfriend though! We both celebrated by wearing messy make-up. XD I wore messy red lipstick and the boyfriend wore messy black eyeshadow. It was very, very silly.

A photo of Robert Smith of The Cure, who's birthday it is today! Not sure where we found this photo or who credit belongs to. But if you know, let me know! XD

Onto my Food Journal, since I've babbled beyond belief:

Day 32, Week 5
21.04.11. Thursday

2:00 AM Snack @ home
♥ pack of 2 "Wild Berry" pop-tarts (420 calories)

Morning weigh-in: 212.0 lbs.

4:30 PM Dinner @ Chipotle
♥ a barbacoa fajita burrito bowl w/ cheese and sour cream (about 540 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 960

9:00 PM Snack @ home
♥ a pack of 2 "Ice Cream Sandwich" pop-tarts (380 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1,340

10:15 PM Snack @ home
♥ 1 1 and 3/8 oz. bag of Baked! Doritos Nacho Cheese (170 calories)
♥ 3/4 a 13.5 fl. oz. bottle of "Simply Limeade" (about 142)

Calorie subtotal: 1,652
Bedtime weigh-in: 212.0 lbs.

NOTES: I went over calorie today by quite a bit, (even over the daily limit!), but I don't really care because today was a kinda shitty day. Oh well!

The reasons why I am trying to lose weight.

I think that when we start to find ourselves about to give up, not for a lack of willpower, but more for a lack of being tired, which so often happens very easily nowadays, it is really good to use positive enforcement. Since I have lost 10 pounds, I am feeling pretty negative towards my dieting/change of lifestyle, and feel like if I make myself see what I am doing positively for myself, I will be less likely to stray from the course. I also felt like you guys should know why I am trying to lose weight, not because I've had negative comments that revolve around me trying to lose weight because of "society's view on being overweight/obesity" (not that I've had them! I'm actually surprised that everything has been pretty positive!), but because I feel that you, the reader, should know what is fueling a sudden quest for weight loss when I've been overweight most of my life. So here goes:

I have been overweight since I was 12-13. I was chubby when I entered puberty, and it seems that my appetite grew bigger the bigger I got. I don't remember the last time I was an appropriate weight. I was underweight and unhealthy when I was 8 and went for a check-up to a doctor, because my mother was eating vegan/vegetarian for her figure and never had time to cook a meal, thus leaving me eating lots of vegan/vegetarian meals that were frozen. She did not realize how to however add protein in a diet to make-up for it and I had so little protein in my diet the doctor was worried about how I was able to play. I had been very exhausted and had health problems due to low-protein levels. Then my mother met a new guy, and eventually we moved in with him, and he ate home-cooked high-in-fat meals. He was a strictly meat and potatoes guy who enforced a rule not to "pick" at your food because he knew what it was like to go without. They eventually married and I had to curb my attitude because I was a very picky eater and it got me into so much trouble with my step-dad that I was sick of the arguing and how upset he got over it that I eventually stopped being picky and ate anything and everything. I gained a lot of weight whilst living under their roof. I went from 97 pounds or so when I was 8 to weighing 180 by my 7th grade year. (I was 14.) By the time I entered high school I was pushing 200 pounds and continued to gain weight. When I dropped out it got worse. I was so depressed that I began to go anywhere between the latter part of 190 pounds to 210 pounds. I also began going through eating disorders and fad diets that absolutely DID not work. I tried anything and everything after a big break-up that left me feeling pretty low about my image. I was told I had body dysmorphia by a psychiatrist who did not diagnose me but said that the image I was seeing was in fact not reality and that I looked nothing like the obese monster I saw in the mirror. I was not as bad as I thought. But after moving out of my parent's house and in with my then friend, now boyfriend, I stopped fad dieting and having eating disorders (particularly bulimia). I grew to like myself...but in the bad way. I had no want or will to change and found myself with quite the dilemma. I went up to 225 pounds by the next Christmas due to stress from my family and just eating a LOT. I ate double what I used to in an attempt to be happy with myself. I started having more problems with my knees and lower back and suddenly remembered- I had been told I had the bad genes in my family as the first child, and my weight was worsening the condition I was told that I would encounter as I gained more weight. I was told by a physician when I was 9 and then again when I was 13 that the bad knees my grandfather had was hereditary and that I would have osteoporosis that would worsen with weight and probably had premature osteoporosis from being a first-born. I have gone back and forth between 200 and 230 pounds in the past 3 years, lacking any willpower to face and fix my problem. I am a fat kid at heart. I legitimately enjoy food, I don't just eat it. On top of all of this, I also found out that because I was the first born child in my family, I am more likely to have Diabetes and IBS. I don't know my father's family history as I have no contact with that side of my family. So I am basically taking a risk being overweight to all sorts of health complications.

So, here's the summary of reasons why I am trying to lose weight/change my diet:

1. I am putting myself in danger of ruining my knees and muscle tissue in general by being overweight and my bones and muscles having to support my weight.

2. I am also at risk for Diabetes and IBS, and put myself in danger of other health complications by being overweight. I also am taking a huge risk because I know none of the health problems on the other side of my family.

3. I cannot and have not ever been able to enjoy clothes shopping because of my weight. It has been difficult to find stylish clothes in my size and I would love to be more stylish, but cannot because of my weight.

4. I will not be able to get chest surgery at the weight I am at currently/I do not want "dog ears" or flaps after my chest surgery as it would affect my self-esteem greatly.

5. I will not be able to start "T" or testosterone or hormone replacement therapy because my weight will redistribute in ways that will make me unhappy about my appearance. The fat on my thighs and hips will redistribute to my stomach where I already have a lot of fat and that will leave me at an even higher risk for heart problems. Fat always, without fail, redistributes during hormone replacement therapy.

6. I enjoy tattoos and body modifications, but tattoos are impossible because of stretch marks and I do not plan on being this weight for the rest of my life, therefore my tattoo plans and/or body modification plans are being put on hold until my skin returns to normal so that I do not have shrunken or stretched tattoos. I have been limiting myself for years now, even though I would love to do more that involves body modification, because I know what happens when you lose weight. I want tattoos on the inside of my arms, but I know that I don't want what happens to tattoos when people under go losing and gaining weight to happen to the ink I have intended for my skin.

So now you guys know why I want to lose weight and am trying to lose weight. It's important to understand that I am not one of those people who is trying to lose weight because of "society's perception" on overweight people/obesity. Especially America's perception of these people. I was never influenced by an ideal body weight or shape, but more so by health problems, being transgendered, and plans I have to modify myself.

Sweet dreams!
(And I hope everyone enjoyed this post!)

Day 31, Week 5: I've finally officially lost 10 pounds!

Today was kinda weird. My boyfriend and I are still confined to the house because of Oogie and her separation anxiety. I really don't blame her though because she is just scared that we too will abandon her. She feels sorta worthless, and I find it quite cute. So we take turns staying with her when we need to get something since she also is really easily carsick. We walk her when it's something we can get in town. (We literally took turns eating in Subway the other day to make sure someone was with her. We don't like upsetting her. ; 3 ;)
Anyways, I was confined to the house so my boyfriend could get some air and grab us lunch since we've run out of groceries and haven't been able to shop because we're waiting on her crate to get here. :) That way we can go do simple stuff and try to calm her down and help her get over her separation anxiety. (Don't worry we aren't going to do anything drastic like leave her for a couple hours the first time she is in her crate, we will of course gradually introduce her to it.) So I didn't get to exercise because on top of all this my puppy's coat or fur is so short that she gets cold really easily and it was pretty chilly, too chilly to take her for a long walk.

Onto my Food Journal since I'm sure you guys don't want to hear anymore about my new puppy:

Day 31, Week 5
20.04.11. Wednesday

1:00 PM "Pick-me-up" @ home
♥ a pack of 2 "Wild Berry" pop-tarts (420 calories)

4:00 PM Lunch from PANDA (a local Chinese Restaurant)
♥ 2 spring rolls (about 400 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 820

5:00 PM
♥ 7/8 a bottle of Powerade (175 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 995

8:00 PM Dinner @ home
♥ a Lean Cuisine "Garlic Chicken" frozen meal (170 calories)
♥ a small bottle of Coke or Coca-Cola (130 calories after my boyfriend stole a sip)

Calorie subtotal: 1,295

9:00 PM Snack @ home
♥ 2 Hostess small/mini powdered donuts (120 calories)

Calorie total: 1,425
Bedtime weigh-in: 212.2 lbs.

NOTES: I went slightly over my calorie goal, had my 2nd soda (*tsk tsk*), and had my last "junk food" for the week. The soda wasn't my fault though since my boyfriend had to run to the grocery store last minute and he forgot to pick up anything to drink because the store was minutes from closing, so I had to drink what we had in the fridge and that was mini-Cokes. On the plus side, this morning I weighed in at exactly 10 lbs. less than when I first started my Food Journal and this is a MAJOR accomplishment. Although I'm really happy about it, I feel frustrated and slightly overwhelmed over small things like, how long it took me to get to this point even though I'm changing my eating habits and that isn't easy and I didn't plan on eating healthy the day I decided to make a major diet change. And the fact that my pants that I just recently bought in February really no longer fit whatsoever and I can't find a belt to fit my waist size yet in stores, but I really need one to hold up my pants. I might instead opt for wide ribbon and tie my pants on the good ol' ghetto fashioned way. I'm not sure why, but I find myself so easily depressed and overwhelmed at this point in my quest. I legitimately think this is the point where your mind plays tricks on you and you begin to secretly devalue your new way of life. But like Dumbledore says, "we must make the choice between what is right and what is easy", and this by no means is easy.

Again, I'm sorry for the lack of photos but it's thanks to having a new puppy and trying to help her adjust to her new setting/surrounding.
I hope you guys are happy I'm back to posting every day/still reading even though I disappeared for a little bit there!

A photo post of Oogie, the newest member of our family and my boyfriend and I's puppy.

I just wanted to post a couple photos that my boyfriend has taken of Oogie since I've posted one already and figured you guys would like to know more about her and be kind of updated since I keep updating about her, here and there.

A photo of Oogie, taken by my boyfriend who can be found on dA or Deviantart at: here.

If you didn't read about her: here's her story.
Oogie as she's come to be known by us, at 2 months old was rescued by a woman who took a drastic measure after coming to get some lumber from an Amish man that she'd been getting her lumber from for a couple of years. She and her 3 other siblings were being starved by the man, in hope's that they would die from starvation after breeding their mother and father carelessly and then realizing that he did not want them and could not sell them because he is Amish. Her mother and father were a Catahoula and a Blue Heeler, respectively. They were in poor condition when this woman put her life in danger not knowing what diseases they might have had to take them into her home and pay for them until she could find homes for them. She gave them vaccinations and kept them in a barn since she herself breeds animals and did not have the room for them in the house as she is a loving pet owner of quite a few dogs herself. Little Oogie nipped her when she picked her up, being the only one who did, probably terrified that this woman was going to hurt her and scared of being separated from her mother and father. Anyhow, 4 months later, the puppies are perfectly healthy, and just this past Friday, Oogie's last sibling was sold, leaving her with no home just yet. We were told both of them were still available when we contacted the woman at the beginning of the week, asking her to hold at least the female so we could meet her and decide if she was the puppy meant for us because we had been looking for a puppy, just as fate would have it. We went to meet Oogie an hour's drive away and fell in love with her calm demeanor and her skittish behavior. She was really scared when we took her home, so scared that she pooped in the car on the seat and sat up against me because she hadn't been in a car since she was a puppy. Since then, she has been living with us, adapting to life as we find out her every little quirk. She has been nothing but good since she got her. She's still scared here and there, but she's really warmed up to the two of us since then. It's hard to think someone would try to starve her to death. Especially since she seems to try so hard to be a good dog to us. She has her fair share of problems, but every puppy does at 6 months old, and I couldn't be happier to give a dog a second chance when I know if we hadn't taken her in, then I'm not sure who would've. She tries to make sure what she does is okay with us. And she has a tendency to jump up on you, but again, most puppies do that. I love having her as a part of my life, even if she is a huge responsibility, because I feel like she's just like me in a lot of ways. She isn't perfect, but no puppy is. They learn just like babies do.

Another photo of Oogie, also taken by my boyfriend and posted with his permission. She likes getting attention from us even when we are walking around on the leash, showing a major need for affection just like any other living creature.

The moral of the story? If you give your heart to a rescue animal, you will find a lifelong companion who truly is grateful for your compassion because they always remember a time when they weren't fed and didn't receive love. All animals will enjoy affection, but they seem to reflect a somewhat deep desire to show you their gratitude, and not every rescue animal is defective. They are animals like any other. Living, breathing creatures who want to be loved and love in return.

Day 30, Week 5: If you should make a mistake, always remember there is tomorrow.

Most people don't have to write a Food Journal entry and then blog it, but I do. It seems to be a way to help me stay on track and focused, even if it's not for everyone. I even recommend doing both even if it's a private blog or LJ, because you never know when you are going to lose or possibly majorly damage the hand-written copy and it's always good to have a back-up plan. I also have to apologize today because I forgot to take pictures AGAIN and haven't been because I got so behind on my blog. I don't know what happened, but I guess it was just the sudden stress going on in our household and a combination of that and trying to do some major "Spring Cleaning"/"Puppy Proofing" at the last minute. I still have acres of work to do, and I know that I can get back focused to blogging in a timely matter and taking photos for my blog. So I'm sorry if all my posts have been wordy and not interesting since I have no photos. I still have a make-up nail polish review post, and I feel really bad about it, but for tonight, it'll have to wait until next weekend and I will HAVE to do 2 back to back posts. Speaking of which: I'll be switching to doing "Manicure/Meatless Mondays". So that means two posts on Mondays with photos and that are much more interesting than my boring day-to-day and I'll also be switching back to posting every day. As in, I will post after midnight to make sure that everyone can see what my day of eating was like, etc. Onto my Food Journal to make sure that I don't bore everyone to death:

Day 29, Week 5
19.04.11. Tuesday

1:30 PM "Pick-me-up" @ home
♥ 25 Reese's Pieces (about 95 calories)

2:15 PM Lunch @ SUBWAY
♥ a 6-inch "Veggie Delite" on wheat, w/ two white American cheese triangles, a normal serving of mayo, and salt & pepper (about 380 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 475

8:00 PM Dinner @ home
♥ 2 Lean Pockets Meatballs and Mozzarella (580 calories)
♥ 1 20 fl. oz. bottle of Mountain Dew (290 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1,345

9:00 PM Snack @ home
♥ a pack (2 pop-tarts) of "Wild Berry" pop-tarts (420 calories)

Calorie total: 1,765
Bedtime weigh-in: 212.6 lbs.

NOTES: I went over calorie a bit because I ate a pack of pop-tarts, and I probably could've avoided that if I had only 1 instead of 2 pop-tarts. Or even a half of a pop-tart to make sure I watch my calories. I calculated AFTER I ate it, not before, which was a VERY stupid idea. You should "subtotal" your calories all day. I'm starting to be able to count calories in my head which is great, when I don't forget to before I eat. Oh well. I just have to watch my calorie intake more. I also had the 2nd junk food for the week and had my only soda for the week today.

Day 29, Week 5: It's just another "Manic Monday".

Monday was a busy day trying to make my puppy adjust. She is like a bundle of joy, even if she tries to get into everything...I don't blame her. I don't care how much trouble she is, because to me it's worth it to give her a home that she needs and deserves, BUT MAN, does she keep me busy. I'm taking her out, spending time trying to make sure she doesn't get into anything. Puppy proofing further than what I thought WAS puppy proof. But it's okay, because I know that she's a sweet dog, and her intentions aren't bad. However, I didn't get to exercise because I was too busy trying to keep her busy and happy and taking her outside and making sure she doesn't use the restroom inside, or even find something to get into that I thought she wouldn't get into/even be interested in. So, no pictures thanks to being too busy. I can barely write down things in my Food Journal because she gets annoyed that I'm not spending time with her...unless she's asleep. XD Onto my Food Journal though:

Day 29, Week 5
18.04.11. Monday

Morning weigh-in: 212.4 lbs. (I'm not bloated this week. I'm an FTM, so shut the fuck up.)

12:00 AM "Pick-me-up" @ home
♥ a pack (2 pop-tarts) of "Frosted Cherry" pop-tarts (400 calories)

2:00 PM Lunch @ SUBWAY
♥ a 6-inch "Veggie Delite" on 9-grain wheat, w/ 2 white American cheese triangles, a normal serving of mayo, and salt & pepper (about 380 calories)
♥ a 1 and 1/8 oz. bag of Bakede! LAYS Original (130 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 910

5:30 PM Dinner @ home
♥ Lean Cuisine "Simple Favorites" Chicken Fettucini (270 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1,180

10:00 PM Snack @ home
♥ a pack (2) of "Frosted Cherry" pop-tarts (400 calories)

Calorie total: 1,580
Bedtime weigh-in: 213.2 lbs.

NOTES: I ate one of my 3 junk foods for the week but had no soda, and still managed to go slightly over-calorie today. I didn't exactly exercise, but more so played around and kept my puppy busy. I was just too busy with her to remember to exercise and by the time I did, it was too late to change that.

Day 28, Week 4: A pup named Oogie Boogie.

Today I got up pretty early, (as soon as Marguerite called), to go and meet the puppy we were interested in buying/giving a home to. We got up and basically threw on our clothes for an hour or so drive to a place I'd never even heard of. I hadn't really been up early for the past week, but I didn't care because I was so excited to meet this puppy. It was an incredibly long drive, but well worth it after I practically fell in love with her (the puppy). I signed a few papers, paid the woman a small fee for vaccines, and took the puppy home. Anyways, I was so absolutely happy to bring her home, I barely focused on eating as I was more focused on comforting my new puppy and helping her adjust. Onto my Food Journal:

Day 28, Week 4
17.04.11. Sunday

1:00 AM Snack @ home
♥ 1 "Ice Cream Sandwich" pop-tart (190 calories)

Morning weigh-in: 212.4 lbs.

10:00 AM "Pick-me-up" @ home
♥ 1 "Frosted Cherry" pop-tart (200 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 390

2:00 PM McDonald's
♥ 6 chicken nuggets (about 276 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 666 (HAHA!)

5:00 PM Dinner @ home
♥ Lean Cuisine "Simple Favorites" Classic Five Cheese Lasagna (350 calories)
♥ 1 bottle of SOBE "Energize" Green Tea (240 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1,256

10:00 PM Snack @ home
♥ 2 Ice Cream Sandwich" pop-tarts (380 calories)

Calorie total: 1,646
Bedtime weigh-in: 216.0 lbs.

NOTES: None

An apology for a week of not posting! (Updates, questions for the readers, etc.)

So on Saturday night, my boyfriend's step-sister went into the hospital for problems related to smoking whilst on oxygen. For the past week, we have been between the hospital and home cleaning to make room for the newest member of our family. We decided to get a puppy about a week and a half ago, and have been preparing for the change in our lives to make room for a puppy who needed a home. The woman we had been communicating with was asking 40 dollars for puppies she had rescued from an Amish man who had been breeding a Catahoula and a Blue Heeler or Australian Cattle dog. She had rescued four, 2 males and 2 females if I remember correctly. The situation was heartbreaking to hear, but the man, being Amish, could not sell these dogs, and was starving them. The woman who we got her from, got her lumber from this man, and came to know about the dogs, and then found out something worse: he had been starving them hoping that they would die so he would not have to pay to raise them. So, at only 2 months old, the woman was forced to rescue the puppies, take them into her home, pay for vet visits, and find homes for them. She herself was a person who breeds pappillons amongst a couple other breeds of dogs, and paid for vaccinations and food until she could find homes for them. 4 months later a female and male had sold, leaving a 6 month old male and female to find homes. The male sold on Friday, and when we were able to drive (about an hour) to see them, we were inquiring about the female who was the last of her litter to go. We got there on Sunday she came out to meet us with a dog who had no name, but was incredibly shy. Within fifteen minutes, she was close to me, staring me in the eyes and had her front paws on my hips, staring up at me while standing on her hind legs. We decided to take her home with us, paid the woman the money for housing and vaccine (a measily $40.00 USD), and signed some papers to seal the deal. She was so incredibly scared since she hadn't been in a car since she was taken to the woman's farm, she even pooped on the seat! It was so sad but so cute. We named her Oogie,
and since she's been in her new home, I've been spending lots of time helping her adjust. She's incredibly sweet and didn't even bother anything while we were asleep even though she had access to everything, and didn't use the restroom inside even though she ate a bowl of food and drank two bowls of water before bedtime.

This is the photo that Joji took of her yesterday when we brought her home.

She hasn't really been a handful, the only problem being that she really can't handle car rides, but we have to get her able to handle car rides. Poor thing threw up today on the way over to the hospital so that mom could get blood work done. We took her to PetCo afterwards to get her another new toy, a clicker for training, and a couple cookie treats since she seems to like them more than the ones we first bought her. (They are peanut butter training treats, and are tiny and mushy...not sure if she cares for that.) We bought her a ham bone, two collars, a leash, a rubber bone squeaky toy (since it seems she's slightly teething still), and a tennis ball. We also are waiting on a name tag we bought online and a crate we also bought with the money Joji got back after that nasty dispute with that online gender therapist. So, after all that hard puppy-proofing work, my work isn't done, I'm taking her out constantly and giving her lots of love, whilst making sure she knows her boundaries (i.e. trying to chew on the computer cord). Speaking of which, did I mention she HATES baths? I'm not sure if it's the shower head or maybe she is claustrophobic? The shower is pretty closed in since it has shower doors...I'm not sure but it might be she's never had one because MAN did she struggle with me even trying to scrub her. But anyways, that's why I haven't been posting as much!

I just want to apologize to those avid readers. I really haven't meant to put my blog so on hold. I'm going to start posting everyday again. But now I have a couple questions for you, the readers:

Is anyone reading vegan/vegetarian or interested in being vegan/vegetarian while calorie counting, and if so, would you be interested in a "Meatless Monday" article?

Is anyone reading interested in reviews pertaining to trying frozen food entrees for weight loss, based on taste, in an article titled "Frozen Fridays"? Would you find it helpful for fixing food that is low-calorie in a timely manner because of a busy schedule?

Even still, I might do these regardless to opinions, but I just wanted to know if anyone would be interested in these types of things.

Alright, now I'm going to update my Food Journal posts. ♥!

Weekly Goal Assessment: End of Week 4/Beginning of Week 5

Due to a lack of willpower, I seemed to have failed a lot of my goals, mainly my junk food goal, my soda goal, and my calorie goal. I had 7 junk foods, 4 sodas, and exceeded my calorie goal 4 days this week. I did, however, assign specific days to exercise, but not times as I have different schedules almost every single day. My days for exercising are Monday, Wednesday, and Friday as of right now. I have been Food Journaling for almost a month now, but dieting for about 3 weeks, and due to my lack of willpower this past week, I did not lose very much during this last week, even though I have been implementing exercise into my schedule during periods of time that I'm more likely to snack Though this is a set back, it is okay to make mistakes when learning nutrition and going through a major change in your diet whilst trying to lose a large amount of weight. I will use the same goals again this week, and put forth more effort to hold to my goals so that I can see results.

Goals for Week 5:

1. I will slowly reduce the amount of junk food (i.e. chips, candy, etc.) I eat by limiting myself to 3 junk foods of any size or kind (as long as they do not exceed my calorie intake goals) during this entire week, 2 junk foods for the entire following week, and 1 junk food for every week after until I lose the weight I need to.

2. I will keep track of my soda intake, allowing myself only 1 soda a week of any size as to not affect my calorie count.

3. I will opt to walk whenever possible.

4. I will continue to try to exercise on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

5. I will limit my calorie intake to 1,400 calories daily.

Day 27, Week 4: No pain, no gain...right?

XD Weird title, but I feel like it deserved it. Not much to say about my Saturday as it was HIGHLY uneventful. (We don't have friends who hang out very often, and those who do seem to tire of our company...so we're almost ALWAYS bored, and almost always not able to go anywhere, since my boyfriend's parents are always giving excuses as to why we can't go out, but they refuse to help him get his license, then get mad when we ask them to take us somewhere out of town...) It was a highly stressful day because dad was having chest pains, and then everyone got into a fight...so it just ended up getting worse and worse until finally we went out over to Starbucks and then went to PetCo to get our new puppy a collar and leash to make sure we were prepared for the following day. I guess I'm not MEANT to have a social life, or something...onto my Food Journal for the day:

Day 27, Week 4
16.04.11. Saturday

1:00 AM Snack
♥ 1 small bag of Doritos (240 calories)
♥ 2 "Frosted Cherry" pop-tarts (400 calories)
♥ 1 7.5 fl. oz. can of Coke or Coca-Cola (90 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 730

Morning weigh-in: 214.4 lbs.

♥ 7/8 of a bottle of "Fruit Punch" Powerade (175 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 905

5:00 PM Dinner @ home
♥ Lean Cuisine Steamer Garlic Chicken w/ vegetables in a parmesan sauce w/ noodles (270 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1,175

8:30 PM Starbucks
♥ 1 venti white chocolate mocha iced coffee w/ nonfat milk and w/o whipped cream (460 calories)

Calorie total: 1,635
Bedtime weigh-in: 217.0 lbs.

NOTES: I failed my calorie goal today and most of the week and also failed my soda and junk food goals for the week. I must attempt them again in the upcoming week to succeed in those areas in order to lose weight in the long run by teaching myself healthier eating habits.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1 Release!

So, I, like so many other children of the 90's, love Harry Potter. However, it took me until my 6th grade year to come around and read the very first book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone or Philosopher's Stone. I did not however read the rest of the books because I was one of those kids who didn't enjoy what everyone else found "trendy" or what everyone else was doing for that matter. I appreciated it for it's creative value, but refused to buy into it. I saw the first movie just because it was on TV one night, and wasn't all too impressed. I saw the second movie thanks to my brother's choices because I had given him the first book. Up until this year, however, I had not been a huge fan, though I had an appreciation for J.K. Rowling as a writer who was, for once, an original and creative individual. I started reading the books after my boyfriend and I decided to go buy the movie because we hadn't seen it in a while, and both got the itch to watch it, but didn't own a copy. We bought it, and then both decided to go and buy the second one the following night. In a week we had bought all 5 that were out, and then began buying the books through Goodwill's ebay store because we couldn't find any used copies at our local Goodwills. We both have been reading since then and in love with the series like we are little children having a small addiction to both.
But here's the dish: I don't feel like the recent movie did any justice to the series.
Is it just me? Because I'm really dying to know! I really have loved all the movies and love the books a bit more, and I haven't read the 7th book yet, but my boyfriend did. (I'm reading the entire series in order, but he's read the entire series already.) And when we watched the movie, he had to explain how much was left out. And even more so, I feel like the last movie lacked something. It was really empty, and hollow, and then my boyfriend said the scene with Harry and Hermoine dancing around in the tent didn't even happen in the book and he didn't understand it. I don't know...maybe the next movie will be better? I really hope so, because all the other movies, I watch over and over again...but this last one? I watched it the night of the release and I haven't picked it up since.

So, anyone up for driving to NE Ohio to go and see the last movie when it releases the night it releases? You can contact me at biernot.illiad@live.com for more info because we want to do a small party since it's the very last one with goodies and maybe some light drinking with Liquid Luck themed drinks and maybe Hogwart's House themed drinks too! Lemme know! If you're in OH or near a state boarder and a Harry Potter fan, you should send me an e-mail because I'd love to have some friends go with! Just remember that you'll have to buy your own ticket to the theater we're going to!

Day 26, Week 4: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1 Release!

"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt.1" released today, (Did I mention I'm a huge Harry Potter nerd?) and I got a bit carried away while snacking on the edge of my seat. Oh well though...sometimes things only come around once so you only get one chance to enjoy something to it's fullest. I set out certain snacks, knowing I would snack after the midnight release and once we got home. So, unfortunately, I kind of picked the wrong time to go on a reduction of junk food from my diet, huh? I sorta set myself up for failure. Oh well, onto my Food Journal for the day:

Day 26, Week 4
15.04.11. Friday

1:00 AM Watching "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt.1" & snacking @ home
♥ 1 7.5 fl. oz. can of Coke or Coca-Cola (90 calories)
♥ 2 packs of pop-tarts (760 calories)
♥ 1 bag of Orville Redenbacher's "Single Serve Movie Theater Butter" Popcorn (160 calories)
♥ 1 1 and 1/8 oz. bag of Baked! LAYS "Original" (130 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1,120

Morning weigh-in: 214.2 lbs.

6:00 PM Dinner @ McDonald's
♥ "Premium Grilled Chicken Club Sandwich" (530 calories)
♥ a "medium" sized fry (380 calories)
♥ a packet of Honey Mustard sauce (70 calories)
♥ a medium Fruitopia "Strawberry Passion- Awareness" (240 calories)

Calorie total: 2,340
Bedtime weigh-in: 217.6 lbs.

NOTES: THIS is how junk food affects your calorie intake! THIS is why I am trying to cut junk food out from my consumption. It is incredibly bad for your calorie count, holds little nutritional value, and can be high in sodium, fat, and sugar. It's sort of the same with soda and sweets. Check the calorie content on a small 99 cent bag of chips, and it might shock you. Even the ones that contain half the calorie count by baking opposed to frying the chips can be hefty in calories, while not filling you up whatsoever.

Day 25, Week 4: You're on the right track, baby you were born this way.

Just the Food Journal:

Day 25, Week 4
14.04.11. Thursday

Morning weigh-in: 213.2 lbs.

3:30 PM SUBWAY
♥ a 6-inch "Veggie Delite" on 9-grain wheat w/ 2 American cheese triangle, a normal serving of mayo, and salt & pepper (about 380 calories)
♥ a 16 fl. oz. cup of water (0 calories!)

Calorie subtotal: 380

6:00 PM Snack @ home
♥ a 4 oz. bag of Trolli Brite Crawlers "EGGS" (420 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 800

8:30 PM Dinner @ home
♥ a Lean Cuisine meal w/ turkey, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, & green beans w/ cranberries (290 calories)
♥ a Glaceau Vitamin Water "power-c" (125 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1215

9:30 PM Dessert @ home
♥ 1 "Frosted Cherry" pop-tart (200 calories)

Calorie total: 1415
Bedtime weigh-in: 216.0 lbs.

NOTES: None

Day 24, Week 4: That, that don't kill me, can only make me stronger.

Nothing important today. Food Journal:

Day 24, Week 4
13.04.11. Wednesday

Morning weigh-in: 213.0 lbs.

3:00 PM "Pick-me-up" @ home
♥ 25 Reese's Pieces (about 95 calories)
♥ 1 Kashi TLC "Trail Mix" chewy granola bar (140 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 235

4:00 PM Walking to the local grocery store to get dinner & back home
♥ 1/2 a can of Arizona Sweet Tea (about 134 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 369

5:00 PM Dinner @ home
♥ a can of Arizona "Red Apple/Green Tea w/ Ginseng and Apple Juice" (210 calories)
♥ Lean Cuisine Casual Cuisine Traditional "Pepperoni Pizza" (350 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 929

5:30 PM Biking
♥ 1/8 a bottle of Powerade (25 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 954

8:20 PM "Pick-me-up" @ Taco Bell
♥ 1 hard taco supreme (200 calories)
♥ a regular size cherry limeade (180 calories)

9:30 PM Snack @ home
♥ 1 small container of Skinny Cow's "Strawberry Cheesecake" Ice Cream (150 calories)

Calorie total: 1484
Bedtime weigh-in: 214.4 lbs.

NOTES: I went slightly over calorie but I did bike 7 mi. and kept busy cleaning the rest of the evening until I went to bed.

Day 23, Week 4: You gain some, you lose some. You maintain some, you grow some.

I don't remember my day all too much, only that I felt pretty overwhelmed. I do know that it was a really slow day and nothing eventful happened. We went up to a store that was supposed to be a stationary store, and turned out more of a Kinko's than a quaint little shop. "Paper Trails" was the name of it, and I honestly wouldn't recommend it since it had no quills, ink, or parchment, and didn't have much of a selection of wax seals either. On top of which, if you're alternative, I wouldn't go there because the owner seemed to be rushing us out as if she felt it would look bad on her shop to have us in there, or that we would steal something. She was very obnoxious and incredibly pushy. Anyways...onto my Food Journal:

Day 23, Week 4
12.04.11. Tuesday

12:30 AM Snack @ home
♥ 16 Pringles (150 calories)
♥ a 7.5 fl. oz. can of Coke or Coca-cola (90 calories but I didn't drink it all so I'd say 70 calories worth)

Calorie subtotal: 220

Morning weigh-in: 214.6 lbs.

8:30 AM "Pick-me-up" @ home
♥ 1 Kasi TLC "Trail Mix" chewy granola bar (140 calories)
♥ a Yoplait Light "Fat Free" blueberry yogurt (100 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 460

9:30 AM Coffee @ Starbucks
♥ a venti white chocolate mocha iced w/o whipped cream (460 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 920

9:45 AM McDonald's
♥ a sausage biscuit (430 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1350

7:00 PM Dinner @ home
♥ Lean Cuisine "Cafe Cuisine" Roasted Garlic Chicken (170 calories)
♥ 8 fl. oz. cup of water (0 calories!)

Calorie total: 1,520
Bedtime weigh-in: 215.8 lbs.
NOTES: Whilst I went over my calorie goal, it was mostly because I haven't had a steady sleep pattern during the entirety of my changes in diet. Thus, I haven't had to split my calories more sparsely until now. So this was a bit of a learning experience to say the least considering I took a nap from 1 to 6 PM that burned calories and left me hungry when I woke up.

Day 22, Week 4: You're gonna go far, kid.

Monday was an incredibly BUSY day and stressful day to boot. A lot was going on in the preparation of getting a puppy and spring cleaning and so on and so forth. So, we'll skip straight to the Food Journal:

Day 22, Week 4
11.04.11. Monday

Morning weigh-in: 214.4 lbs.

2:30 "Pick-me-up" @ home
♥ 1 Kashi TLC "Trail Mix" chewy granola bar (140 calories)
♥ 1 Yoplait Light Strawberry yogurt (100 calories)
♥ 1 8 fl. oz. cup of water (0 calories!)

Calorie subtotal: 240

5:00 PM A quick dinner @ home
♥ 1 pack of Uncle Ben's Instant Rice Plain or Original White (400 calories, but ate about 310 calories worth)
♥ 1 cup of Campbell's Cream of Chicken soup (about 340 calories, but I ate only about 3/4 of it, so I'm going to guesstimate 300 or so calories)
♥ a 7.5. fl. oz. can of Coke or Coca-Cola (90 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1000

8:00 PM Snack @ home
♥ a small container of Skinny Cow's "Dulce de Leche" ice cream (150 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1150

9:00 PM Snack @ home
♥ 12 Ore Ida frozen French Fries (120 calories)
♥ a package of Breakstone's 100-calorie Low-Fat Cottage Cheese w/ Peaches (100 calories)

Calorie total: 1370
Bedtime weigh-in: 216.4 lbs.

NOTES: I'm bloated today, but I still managed to make myself go on a long walk despite being miserable. I stayed under my calorie goal today, and didn't eat any junk food, but had my weekly soda today.

Saturday Shopping! (My shopping haul and just life in general.)(Picture heavy!)

I received these in the mail Saturday morning, as I had ordered them earlier in the week. These are supposed to be my next stretch, 7/16" or 000, since I'm at 00 currently.

However, I'm not quite sure what to make of the size difference because it's only supposed to be a one mm difference, but it doesn't look like it. It looks like a 2 mm difference. My ears aren't quite ready for a 2 mm stretch. So, I'm not sure if it's correct or not.

A pair of sunglasses picked up while thrifting in GoodWill. I originally couldn't have cared less, but the boyfriend made me try them on and then made me let him pay for them.

After picking up a new pair of vintage shades from GoodWill while thrifting. The boyfriend made me get them, but now I see why!

The lipstick my boyfriend bought me! I wonder what color it could be~?!

"Quite Cute"? I hope the color is "quite cute"! (Ignore the heart, but somehow I got a "fuzzy" or fuzzball on my fingertip and didn't notice it when I was taking the photo!)

The bottom of the new tube of lipstick!

Aren't I predictable? A light purple or lilac even! It's from the new collection released for Spring. I was surprised to find it at the counter since they don't have much make-up to choose from. (I personally enjoy perusing Sephora better, but I just visited the mall Saturday, and it turns out that we are in fact getting an AVEDA and a Sephora side by side very soon!)

What's this? A "Journey's" bag? I wonder what's inside!

A Converse box? Hmmm...I wonder what kind!

Tada! How expected! They're purple! (This is my first pair of "high-tops".)

A couple different views of my new pair of chucks, with and without flash so you get an idea of what color they actually are. I'm in love with them.

This past Saturday, I started the day on an awesome note, grabbing some SUBWAY and getting out of the house for a long walk. Then we made our way down to the local Rite Aid to peruse through make-up, and finally made a pit-stop at GoodWill. Then we walked about a mile and a half up to Joji's step-sister's apartment to hang out with her, her boyfriend, and Joji's mom. After a while, I got to go shopping with my boyfriend and his parents, since they got a downpayment back from paying for a new motor for his mom's jeep, and they had spent all their tax return money on that engine. Somehow this equated to them buying us stuff because they usually buy us something with the money from their tax return, so they asked us out to grab a bite to eat and then to shop. I got so caught up that I even forgot what I ate and then I walked all over the mall looking in shops, whilst the parents busied themselves picking up a couple items for our family pooch, Mochi.
Anyhow, I didn't expect anything, and was rather happy when my boyfriend decided to buy me a lipstick from the MAC counter at Macy's. However, my boyfriend asked for a pair of new converse and his mom told him she'd buy him some and she had been planning to anyways when they had got some money. Then, when we got back from purchasing his, (he got those really awesome monotone black converse), his mom surprised me by saying, "Oh shoot! You guys have to walk all the way back to the shoe place!" Both of us both immediately responded, "Why?" And she responded, "You forgot a pair of shoes for Eerie!" I was flabbergasted and pretty shocked since I haven't had a new pair of shoes in about a year or two. And I haven't had a new pair of converse since I was 15. I thrift for most of my clothes, as is, but it's nice to be able to afford something brand new every once in a while.

On a final note, I also ran out of my favorite cologne I've ever had. It's by Giorgio Armani, and I'm not sure what it was since it was from a used-to-be-friend. So, RIP my favorite cologne. You smelled so good, and some of my favorite memories are filled with the scent of you. <3 I'm still so attached I haven't tried to even throw it away, or harbor the thought...it makes me so sad.

Above: The top of my cologne bottle. Below: A photo of the front of the bottle.

And to summarize this post, a photo of a ring that means the world to me. Joji got it for me the month after our first anniversary. October. It was from Target, and I wore it so often it broke. At the time, I wasn't sure how to fix it and I was utterly heartbroken. I carried it around in my bookbag everywhere, terrified I would lose it. Then the other day I remembered this amazing glue we bought to put together our rings, and realized I could fix it. I was thrilled, and now I'm back to wearing it all the time. (Especially since I haven't seen anything like it since it broke!)

Isn't it beautiful? I love this ring more than I can express. But not more than I love my boyfriend.

That's all for this post! I hope you enjoyed it. I still have to post my empty Food Journal page and my weekly assessment. <3

A quick update before I have to leave for tonight!

My blog post for tonight may be put off for a bit due to an unforeseen circumstance. My boyfriend's stepsister was just sent to the hospital because she is unable to breathe and could die. I'm very sorry about this, but perhaps I will be on later tonight to update with a "shopping" post and my food journal for yesterday, (even though it's blank I don't like leaving holes in my blog.)

Thank you for your understanding if I don't post tonight! <3

Edit: We have to watch the dog instead and dad has to go to work, so his mom is going over to the hospital with her grand-daughter, but they only have enough room for one person so...yeah. I'll be updating in a little bit.

Weekly Goal Assessment: End of Week 3/Beginning of Week 4

I fell behind on my calorie count goal by succumbing to temptation, but I have successfully kicked sodas for now it seems. I no longer find myself mindlessly drinking one soda after another or even wanting soda for that matter. Sometimes I want a soda with particular food, in specific greasy food, but I definitely don't see myself drinking 2 20 fl. oz. sodas a day like I did the month before this. I failed to keep my calorie count goal, but it is okay because I've done something extremely beneficial for my life by cutting soda until I lose most of my weight. I am incorporating exercise in my life with the weather warming up however, but I see a need for more exercise in my life as losing weight from dieting and not exercising at the same time can leave bad results.

New weekly goals:

1. Overcome my addiction to junk foods, (i.e. candy, chips, etc.), by limiting myself to 3 junk foods maximum this week, 2 junk foods maximum the next week, and 1 junk food maximum the week after that. It does not matter what size or what kind of junk food it is, only that adheres to my calorie count and is not a HUGE amount, (i.e. ONE candy bar, not two, ONE bag of chips, ONE serving of chips, etc.).

2. I will keep track of my soda intake & monitor myself so that I do not relapse back to "old habits" by limiting myself to ONE soda, regardless of size, weekly.

3. I will make time for exercise by assigning specific days and time slots for exercise only (i.e. Monday @ 3:00 PM, Wednesday @ 4:30 PM, etc.).

4. I will walk whenever possible.

5. I will limit my calorie intake to 1,400 a day.

6. I will write down what I eat, when I eat, (and where I eat it if possible), and not neglect to fill out my Food Journal for the day no matter the circumstance.

Nail Polish Review: 237 "Glitz" by Wet N' Wild

I simply LOVE glittery nails as much as the next person, but perhaps even more because I wear rather plain close and it's a great way to show your personality when you can't do anything more permanent and work a 9 to 5. My review for this color is much more formatted than my last nail polish review so we can get down to the "Nitty Gritty", so to speak.

Above: The front of the bottle of nail polish. And my final results. Below: The back of the nail polish bottle, and my final results again.

"Glitz" or number 237 by Wet N' Wild nail polish CAN give you that great sparkly manicure you want compared to other brands, it turns out just the same as others. It is composed mainly of a clear nail polish with no color persuasion or tint, and has a large quantity of magenta or fuschia glitter, with touches of silver glitter, and remnants of a light blue glitter as well. It is beautiful, but looking at the bottle you assume your nails will be thick and full of glitter or sparkles. This is not true.

When applied by itself, in one pretty thick layer with no base color beneath it, "Glitz, or 237, by Wet N' Wild lacks that fantastic full on glitter effect that many of us want right now.

It is SUB-PAR to say the least when it is applied in a thick layer on a nail with no base color beneath it, and looks as though it would need MANY layers to build up your nails to being covered in glitter. I know what you're thinking though: Then how in the hell are your nails so sparkly/glittery?! A base coat of a different nail polish. The one I reviewed last time, actually.

A color I reviewed last time, "wild plum" from petites collection "COLOR FEVER". A dark purple with no blue persuasion should work nicely beneath "Glitz" by Wet N' Wild, or even a pink or pink-purple. However, I don't know if I'd recommend a silver, gray, or light blue beneath it since the majority of glitter in the nail polish would need something to highlight it, not undermine it or outshine it.

Unfortunately, there is one down side: you will HAVE to use a topcoat beneath your one or two base coat colors of nail polish. The nail polish pulls up the color beneath otherwise, absolutely destroying them from being smooth and sleek. And then you need a top coat over top "Glitz" to keep it from catching on everything. So the final results?

Price: $1.99 USD (or less depending on the sales)
Found at: Rite Aid, though I think other drugstores and retailers like Walmart should carry it.
Quality: Not wonderful, but will do if you're hard for cash. But almost not worth it considering how much nail polish you must use in one sitting.
When should you wear it? When you have extra time to put effort into it because you will find yourself taking at least two hours trying to remove it before work on Monday at 9. You won't want to wear this unless it's at the beginning of your weekend, because it takes A LOT of time to remove from your nails.

I hope you liked my review and found it helpful! Comment to let me know what I can do to make them more helpful! Sweet dreams!

Day 20, Week 3: If you forget to Food Journal, and what you ate, it's okay!

Saturday was a busy but very uplifting day! My boyfriend's mom got back a downpayment she made on a new motor for her Jeep which is currently being repaired by a close work friend of his dad's. It was $400.00 USD, and since we didn't say anything about them spending almost all of their tax return money on a new engine, she treated us to a real day out with her and her husband! They took us shopping even though they didn't have to and walked around the mall with us even when they never do since their health is declining and they are always rather busy. It was wonderful to feel like part of a family for the first time in a while. It was also the first warm day since Fall, and the weather was absolutely beautiful and everyone was in such a perfect mood even though going out is usually such a hassle for my boyfriend and I in this part of Ohio. (We get harassed a lot when we're out together.) Either way a part of my Food Journal is missing because I got so caught up and whisked away I can't even remember what we ate because being treated was such a, well, TREAT! Onto my Food Journal for the day, or what I have of it:

Day 20, Week 3
09.04.11. Saturday

2:00 AM cleaning
♥ 8 fl. oz. of Tropicana's "Berry Punch" (120 calories)

Morning weigh-in: 214.8 lbs.

11:30 AM Lunch @ SUBWAY
♥ a 6-inch "Veggie Delite" on 9-grain wheat bread, w/ 2 white American cheese triangles, a serving of mayo, and salt & pepper (about 380 calories total)
♥ a 16 fl. oz. cup of water (0 calories!)

Calorie subtotal: 500

1:00 PM Walking around town
♥ a 16 fl. oz. cup of water (0 calories!)

------------------------------------------
Forgot to Food Journal and calorie count!
------------------------------------------

Calorie total: 500 w/ calories missing!
Bedtime weigh-in: 218.4 lbs.

NOTES: I forgot to count my calories and Food Journal, but I exercised ALL DAY. We walked around town, across, up hills...I was absolutely exhausted, and then we went to the mall and walked even more! I probably did not make my calorie goal, though I can't remember, but I still exercised so much! So, whoops! But oh well. I'm positive that I did keep my ONE SODA COMMITMENT though, because I would've had gas pains had I drank a soda, and I know for sure I didn't last night. Thank goddess!

Sometimes, good times will catch you off guard. Remember your commitments to yourself during these times! But also remember to relax and let loose every once in a while. Life is so short, and good times are few and far in between during times like these. It's important to enjoy yourself while you can even when you have commitments and goals with weight loss. It's easy to succumb to getting caught up, but it's also rare to have perfect days and you should never forsake your happiness even when you hold commitments.

I have 2 more posts still on the way, so hang tight!

Day 19, Week 3: It's okay if you fail at your week goals, you can try again next week!

Friday was a rushed weird day. I'm not sure what was up with me, but my mood was progressively getting worse because my things to do are piling up and my patience was dwindling for dealing with procrastination and sheer stupidity of people. (I've noticed that as it gets warmer people start to come out more where we live, but they also interact like the douchebags they are since they haven't gotten to poke fun at anyone in such a long, long time.) Anyhow, not much more droning for me, onto my Food Journal:

Day 19, Week 3
08.04.11. Friday

1:00 AM Snack
♥ 1 lemon bar (160 calories)
♥ 8 fl. oz. of Smith's Vitamin D milk (150 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 310

Morning weigh-in: 213.4 lbs.

6:00 PM Making dinner
♥ 8 fl. oz. of Tropicana's "Berry Punch" (120 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 430

7:30 PM Dinner
♥ 8 fl. oz. of Tropicana's "Berry Punch" (120 calories)
♥ 1/2 cup of Idahoan instant "Four Cheese" mashed potatoes (150 calories)
♥ about 2 tbsp. of Green Giant's "Niblets" canned corn (about 60 calories give or take)
♥ about 4 oz. of boneless, skinless Perdue chicken breast seasoned w/ water and 0 calorie chicken rub/seasoning (about 175 calories)
♥ 1 cornbread muffin by Jiffy (160 calories)

This was absolutely delicious! And for some reason, I know it looks like very little chicken, I was really full. You don't need a ton of food to be full.

Calorie subtotal: 1095

10:50 PM Snack
♥ 2 lemon bars (320 calories)
♥ 2 cups of 8 fl. oz. Reiter's whole milk (300 calories)

Calorie total: 1710
Bedtime weigh-in: 215.8 lbs.

NOTES: I didn't stay beneath my calorie intake daily goal for this week, but I'm pretty sure I burned my calories cooking & doing dishes. I also didn't exercise as I couldn't find time, but I was busy cleaning and house work burns calories, even if it isn't as many. I surely burned off what I ate for the day.

Busy, again. What's new? And changing my schedule slightly.

My life seems to keep getting busy to the point where I can't even find time for friends. I'm not sure I really like it, and I feel very disorganized and scatterbrained no matter what I do or try. Even when I get enough sleep, I wake up exhausted. Today, I was literally dragging around trying to do anything and forgot to Food Journal in the midst of this.

So, regardless, I think I will be Food Journaling every FOLLOWING day. As in tomorrow I'd Food Journal what I ate today. I'm so scatterbrained and I already do Food Journal the following day in the wee hours but my sleeping schedule switched on me again, and even so, I'd like to get out of this Food Journaling/blogging at the beginning of my next day.

I don't like blogging in the wee morning hours. :/ I am feeling pretty reluctant to blog at all since my weight loss isn't going as planned. So, I'll be updating my blog according to my how my weekend was, aside from today. And I owe an apology to everyone who is reading everyday and has been noticing the lack of fluid posting in my weekends. :/

Okay! Well, off to updating! <3

Day 21, Week 3: Sometimes you forget, but dust yourself off and try again.

I forgot to Food Journal on this day, and I'm not sure why I didn't but I guess it slipped the mind or something. I don't know why or what happened...I guess I just carried a bit of the bad habit into not Food Journaling and just forgot the following day?

Day 21, Week 3
10.04.11.

Morning weigh-in: 214.8 lbs.

I forgot to Food Journal, but know for certain I had no sodas, I just didn't count the calories or write down what I ate!

Bedtime weigh-in: 218.8 lbs.

NOTES: I absolutely cannot remember what I ate, but I figure the reason I forgot to Food Journal was a combination of losing the habit and exhaustion from the previous day and all that walking.

Day 18, Week 3: Remember to keep at it during weight fluctuations!

So, today was really weird because I couldn't get to sleep at ALL last night and by the time I did it was so god damn late at night I was so exhausted and pissed off. So, I didn't wake up until like 5 or 5:30 PM which is like HORRENDOUS. I can't believe I'm not even awake when it's light out anymore and it's starting to really depress me, but my sleeping problem has gotten so out of hand there is nothing I can do to solve it. I really feel like I've tried everything, but nothing is working. I should probably be seeing a doctor about it, but I can't both because I have no money/insurance and I'm trans and GOD knows what I would go through trying to see a doctor anywhere around here. Anyways, it's starting to get to be something I can't seem to fix. There isn't a sleep aid that helps without giving me terrible nightmares, and there is no other relief from this unless I decide to smoke pot, and of course I'm not about to start smoking pot. (Both because of the weight gain and the fact that I can't stand the smell.) Oh well.

Onto my Food Journal since I'm seeming a bit too chatty:

Day 18, Week 3
07.04.11. Thursday

12:00 AM Snack
♥ 2 Jiffy blueberry muffins (320 calories)
♥ 8 fl. oz. of Smith's Vitamin D milk (150 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 470

4:00 AM Snack
♥ 1 scrambled egg sandwich (1 scrambled egg = about 90 calories, 2 slices of Nickel's white bread = 126 calories, and 1 tsp. of mayo = 45 calories, complete sandwich = 261 calories)
♥ 7/8's of a Kashi TLC "Trail Mix" chewy granola bar (around 125 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 856

Morning weigh-in: 214.8 lbs.

6:30 PM Dinner @ IHOP
♥ 3 20 fl. oz. glasses of water (0 calories!)
♥ a house salad w/ buttermilk ranch dressing (salad = 90 calories, dressing = 290 calories, total salad w/ dressing = 380 calories)
♥ half of a pot roast melt (530 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1766

8:00 PM Snack
♥ 2 small lemon bars by Krusteaz (found at Walmart)(160 calories apiece, 2 for 320 calories)
♥ 8 fl. oz. of Smith's Vitamin D milk (150 calories)

Above: Lemon bars after they were finished cooking and chilling in the fridge. Below: What my plate looked like before digging in! They were absolutely delicious!

Calorie total: 2236
Bedtime weigh-in: 214.8 lbs.

NOTES: I went severely over-calorie but I was legitimately hungry even after eating at IHOP and had to restrain myself from eating more. Then again, when we arrived home, I started doing dishes and started taking care of the house. I did dishes for two hours, then I took a shower, then I mopped our upstairs bathroom, and finally finished the night with doing laundry and folding it. So maybe I burned off what I ate? Let's see thanks to calorie calculations...

My intake for today: 2236
Calorie I burned: 3190 (Information from here.)
Calories burned after subtracting calories eaten: 954
Meaning that I burned what I ate, and then burned 954 calories off of my weight. Which would explain why I am still hungry...that's almost 1/4-1/3 of a pound worth of calories, aside from the calories I ate today.

I don't know how or why my calories went so out of hand. I guess it had to do with eating at IHOP, but we got up so late that my boyfriend's dad barely had time to eat, let alone wait for us to cook so that he could get some more sleep in before he went to work. That and today was Joji's mom's dad's birthday. (He's dead but she kind of wanted to go out to eat in a kind of celebration...)

Don't forget not to get too down on yourself if you intake too many calories and to always double check with your calories burned to make sure you didn't ACTUALLY gain a pound. Because today I ate A LOT, but I also burned it off and then some. So don't go worrying your little head and giving up so easily!

When you gain a pound, remember that the ones you lost were once gained too and that you can lose it. I've had a lot of hardship that's led me to very irrational behavior (i.e. some crash dieting), and that isn't ANY good for your body at all. You need to always leave room for some mistakes in your diet and your life in general.

Well, goodnight!

Day 17, Week 3: No photos today again, sorry!

Today was a miserable day, particularly thanks to someone's bad attitude bothering everyone. So, it's straight onto my Food Journal today:

Day 17, Week 3
06.04.11. Wednesday

12:30 AM Snack @ home
♥ a cup of Twinnings Earl Grey tea w/ 1 1/2 tbsp. of sugar (79 calories)
♥ 1 pack of Dunkaroo's (120 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 199

Morning weigh-in: 215.0 lbs.

5:00 PM or so Dinner @ Chipotle
♥ a barbacoa fajita burrito bowl w/ sour cream & cheese (540 calories)
♥ 2 16 fl. oz. cups of water (0 calories!)

Calorie subtotal: 739

Snack
♥ 2 Jiffy blueberry muffins (320 calories)
♥ 8 fl. oz. of Smith's Vitamin D milk (150 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1209

Snack
♥ 8 Lifesaver mints (120 calories)

Calorie total: 1329
Bedtime weigh-in: 216.2 lbs.

NOTES: I tried to take a walk again today, but it's just too damn cold and it's been rainy and crappy all week. I can't wait for better weather to exercise in. I did manage to stay around my calorie goal but I'm not sure why my weight increased today and I weighed myself several times in a row to try and figure it out. Unfortunately, I think it has to do with not digesting food properly thanks to us having very little money to eat more than one meal a day. Oh well.

Did you know you burn calories just living everyday?

Yes, that's right. You just read that title to this blog correctly. There's a reason why the government suggests a certain amount of calories per day according to gender. It's because sleeping, reading, sitting, watching TV, eating, cooking, driving, basically everything you do burns calories accordingly with your weight, age, and gender.

This is a link to a website that helps you calculate your daily calories burned ("exercise" or not).

According to the above website I burned 2959 calories today. I burned more than I ate. For instance, my calorie intake was 1416, and today, including my walk I burned 3159 calories total. Meaning because I burnt more calories than I ate, I am losing weight rather than gaining or maintaining. I burned everything I ate by taking a 45 minute walk at about 2-3 mph and merely existing. Weird, huh? Make sure you're at least burning what you're eating if you aren't able to incorporate your exercise. Especially if you can't make time just yet. (Maybe you're waiting for summer vacation and are still in high school but trying to lose weight?) It's also important to remember the following: 3,500 calories = ONE POUND. So if you eat that much food or even don't burn 500 calories that you ate that day, then you just gained 1/7th of a pound onto your weight. And if you BURN 3,500 calories or more, then you will lose a pound or more depending on how many calories you burned.

For instance, I ate 1416 calories. I burned 3159 total calories. I burned what I ate today (3159 - 1416 = 2084), and burned 2084 calories or about 1.6 of a pound on my body. (Which is why I wake up weighing less than the day before, but not exactly a pound less.)

I feel like this is an important topic to bring up since when I was in high school, I had no time to lose weight and I gained as a result but if I had kept calorie count and stayed at or beneath the daily limit of calories (1,500) then I probably could've burned calories and shed some pounds. In fact, I could've been doing this last year when I said I was going to lose the weight...but I didn't know that you will naturally burn about those many calories even without exercising.

I'm not trying to say exercising isn't important. Let me make this clear, EXERCISE IS VERY IMPORTANT. It's incredibly important when you're at a weight like mine to start exercising to tone the body after being at a weight that has stretched your skin or left stretchmarks. And no time is better than now. I am even considering getting a yoga DVD to start working on it since I'm so embarrassed over it and don't want to be left with sagging.

So, remember that you burn calories by just merely existing, but that when you are heavier, especially above 200 pounds, you will need to exercise more for toning benefits more than anything.

Hope this post was informational and helpful! ♥
Sweet dreams~

Day 16, Week 3: Depression can always be cured with a good book.

Not to mention a good cup of your favorite tea.

So, today was a weird day. Leah's car needed to go into the shop so we ended up not hanging out today because it was a bit inconvenient, but that's okay because I didn't get up until 5:00 PM anyways, so it doesn't matter. (And no I still haven't fixed my sleeping pattern problem and whatnot.) I am still not out of my funk yet, but finishing "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" definitely ended tonight way better than how I felt when I woke up. I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way but I think it's part of Spring for me. I don't really like Spring because I get out into society again after being snowed in all Winter and early Spring to find myself more misanthropic than ever. But, let's skip onto my Food Journal today because I definitely don't want to get you guys down with my pessimism and misanthropy. <3 Day 16, Week 3
05.04.11. Tuesday

1:00 AM Snack @ home
♥ 4 fl. oz. of Mott's Apple Juice (60 calories)
♥ 25 Reese's Pieces (95 calories)
♥ 1 package of Dunkaroo's (120 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 275

Morning weigh-in: 212.8 (Yay! Back to where I am supposed to be!)

5:30-6:30 PM-ish Dinner @ home
♥ 16 fl. oz. bottle of Strawberry and Orange Sunny D (160 calories)
♥ 1/2 cup of Betty Crocker's "Cheesy Au Gratin" potatoes (150 calories)
♥ 2-3 tbsp. of Green Giant's Niblet's (canned corn)(guesstimating around 50 calories or so w/ cholesterol-free spreadable butter made w/ canola oil cooked in)
♥ 1/3 of a Tyson skinless, boneless chicken breast (about 36 calories)
♥ 2 Jiffy cornbread muffins (about 320 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 991

Snack @ home
♥ 4 fl. oz. of Smith's Vitamin D milk (75 calories)
♥ 1 Jiffy blueberry muffin (160 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 1216

Snack @ home
♥ Crybaby bubblegum (10 pieces = 200 calories)

Calorie total: 1416
Bedtime weigh-in: 216.8 (w/ clothes)

NOTES: Even though I went over my target calorie goal for this week, I did manage to take a 45 minute walk. (Which at my weight according to this, I burned somewhere around 200 calories. And I only went over by 16 calories anyways so no hard feelings there!

I am actually sorta on top of blogging again! Yay! Unfortunately, minus the photos for now. Idky but I haven't been feeling up to it, but hopefully that changes by tomorrow so I can keep you guys interested still!

One more post tonight!

Blog suggestions/requests?

If you have anything you'd like to see me blog about, please send me an e-mail at biernot.illiad@live.com with your suggestions and/or requests.

I am more than open to just about anything.

Good night!

Day 15, Week 3: The beginning of your 3rd week dieting!

So far I've went from 221.0 lbs. to 214.2 at the beginning of my official 3rd week dieting. This is turning out to be a success story. You know my biggest thing to conquer? Being able to get full body photos of myself without feeling hideous... I love taking photos of my face, but not my body...and I haven't for 3 years now. I've avoided full-length mirrors and full body photos of myself almost like one tries to avoid an untimely death! I cannot believe that I've been sticking to this for 2 weeks and I'm so proud of myself, and find my boyfriend and friends proud of me too. And you know my biggest secret? I am refusing to hold back or give up even in the face of disappointment. The scale says I'm a pound heavier? Minor loss, but I don't need to mope and whine about it. Instead I decide to take a more active approach.

Onto my Food Journal so that I don't keep blubbering:

Day 15, Week 3
04.04.11. Monday

Morning weigh-in: 214.2 lbs.

5:00 PM Dinner @ Bob Evans
♥ 1 glass of Cherry Coca-Cola or Coke (125 calories per glass, no refills)
♥ a "Chicken Noodle Deep Dish" bowl (699 calories)
♥ 3 small glasses of water (maybe 8 fl. oz.? 0 calories!)

Calorie subtotal: 824

5:30 Snack
♥ 1/2 a biscuit from Bob Evans (130 calories)

Calorie subtotal: 954

11:00 PM Snack @ home
♥ 4 fl. oz. of Mott's Apple Juice (60 calories)
♥ a Kashi TLC "Trail Mix" chewy granola bar (140 calories)
♥ 1 Yoplait Light Strawberry Yogurt (100 calories)

Calorie total: 1,254
Bedtime weigh-in: 215.6 lbs.

NOTES: I stayed under my new calorie goal for this week today, drank my only allowed soda for this week, and walked very little today due to "Tornado Season" and REALLY bad weather. I walked about 15 minutes around inside of Walmart grabbing a couple essentials, but that was all. I also managed to keep with drinking plenty of water whilst waiting for my food at Bob Evans instead of ordering some high-in-fat appetizer or side dish.

Yay! Done with my Food Journal posts for tonight!

One last note, is that I am VERY sorry for a lack of photos lately. I'll get back to taking photos to keep this blog interesting. I also still have not heard back from the girl who is doing the interview for the blog, and I wanted to apologize for not posting my nail polish review today.

Things to look forward to in upcoming blogs, a nail polish review to make up for the one I missed, some photos of my latest creations at CSC, and maybe a post about thrifting when overweight and Salvation Army!